QT: Against My Will

340 5.84 – Figuring Her Out – The Sleepless’s Elite’s Wife

+— Author’s note —-+

Edited by Psycho S.

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Yes, they had some issues, but it was not that bad. He couldn’t help but tease her a bit, “Being a mommy would suit you though.”

“NO BABIEEES!!!” Bing Shi screamed out of her lungs- she didn’t care if he was only teasing her or not! Why?! Why didn’t he even try to respect her decision?! Why must he continue to pressure her continuously to fulfill his selfish desires?

She knew Xuan Mu was not like her and it was easier said than done. That’s why she explained herself so many times. But he would never stop until he got what he wanted.

“Don’t force me anymore! Not anymore- please!” If he kept being too demanding, Bing Shi too would keep refusing his demands, “Admit it. You did something to my memories, right?!”

“Alright! Alright! I won’t!” Xuan Mu raised his hands in defeat. In the past world, they had to be going through a honeymoon phase or something. Now that most of the danger was out, no opponents to fight against, they could focus on themselves.

Xuan Mu’s mental health also stabilized, but their relationship kept crashing all over the place. Holding grudges over every little detail made everything piled up. She should have known that he would never force her into that, so what was the big deal?

.....

“NO BABIEEES!!!”

The whole way home, Xuan Mu listened to the one and the same sentence, “I KNOW! SO QUIET DOWN!” He already stopped teasing her and apologized. They were this close from snapping and separating again. “Bing Shi! You’re a singer! Stop straining your voice!”

Did they ever mention divorce? No. What was the point of mentioning something that was unlikely to happen? As long as one wanted, they would get back somewhen, somehow. They just need to give it some time.

She, who usually made the first step, wouldn’t do it this time, he was sure of it. Something happened and the pillar of their relationship got lost too. Nobody knew what to do- especially him.

“NO BABIEEES!!!” Bing Shi put on a pair of rose-tinted glasses, pulling them up and down from her nose as she stared at the man next to her. The grayish background around him would turn a color pink with the help of the glasses. She could see the difference clearly.

So how much further did he have to go, for her to not love him anymore? Even though he was teasing her and hiding things from her, she still trusted him blindly. She was glad that he found himself along the way without her help. If he got a suitable mommy for his future babies, it was highly possible that she would give them her blessing and leave for good.

“Bing Shi! Stop it!” Xuan Mu took away the glasses from the absurd, unselfishly selfish woman. Was she hurting so much to go as far as trying to cheer herself up in the middle of their dispute or was she just in a mood to joke around?! And suddenly he didn’t feel as bad for being trashy sometimes, as she too, could be very irritating and be at fault if she wanted.

The most annoying thing about his wife was her lack of jealousy and the way she gave him too much freedom, which caused more problems than not. One of her manh faults could be mistaken as a lack of attachment; her lack of care; her lack of seriousness.

Would one mistake really make her leave? No, it was just what he thought, because she would be able to give him away without a second thought, without putting up a fight. It hurts to know, but what could he do?

Various paths and solutions couldn’t be found without getting lost. If there existed someone who understood his Bing Shi the most, it would be Xuan Mu- though it would have been better to say that he tried to understand her. It was like he had to wander in a maze with no end and figure a way out of said way, in a place of nowhere.

If it were someone else in his position, the maze would break their spirit; It would tear apart one’s mind; it would trouble someone’s heart to the point of breaking.

This time, he had to be the glue that fixed himself and keep maintaining a blind trust that, somewhere along the way, she would be somewhere in that maze, waiting for him so she could be found. She was an empath. She wouldn’t ask for help when everyone around her was going through some serious shit too.

Their love story wasn’t a bad boy meeting a good girl. Their love stories were about two rebels that had a completely different approach to life.

They were the same but yet, they were also so different. They couldn’t compare who loved the other more, because both of their love was too great and too contrasting in nature.

Whether they wanted to or not, they had to respect the other’s decision and wait patiently until the other was ready. Being pushy would only add more pressure and anxiety, making it hard for both.

Communication would stop working if there was a lack of compromise. The separation gave them lots of space to think about things they would usually not think about when being together.

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“NOOOO BABIEEEEEES!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MEMORIES?!!!! NO BABIEEEES!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MEMORIES?!!!! NO BABIEEEES!!”

“NOO BABIEEES!!!!!” He yelled out together with her in frustration as they reached their destination, “So what if I did?! What are you going to do about it?! Go ahead! Do it!” He hugged her across the seat, “Do it, but only after I get a huggie,” he whispered cutely.

“I HATE THIIISSSS!” She bit his neck severely, leaving red tooth marks on his skin. Going through her past lives, she was always better off living a fulfilling life without any human interaction.

So why was it, when it came to this man, it was so difficult to behave rationally? It would be much easier if he just cheated on her, she gave him so many opportunities to do so.

Bing Shi was afraid of losing the grip of who she was and the principles she held. It seemed that no distance, not even his death, could make his devotion towards her disappear. That bond was here, stronger than before, and they felt it.

Her being able to spot him among a sea of people was not a coincidence anymore. He planned to use this subtle, almost invisible connection to reach out to his wife across the universes.

“Sweetie, if you’re going to leave a lovely hickey, do it somewhere less visible,” He hissed as he felt how she bit him harder the moment he uttered those words. Well, some lessons can never be learned. He teased her again.

His ‘self-love’ would always show up in a form of selfishness, and there was something about seeing the great effect he had on her, which could create ripples in her controlled demeanor. His wife, of course, found this trashy side of him more endearing than the depressingly insecure garbage. Again. What did this woman see in rubbish like him?

She knew how ignoring hurt him, yet she still ignored him. But was she intentionally torturing him? No, she needed a break, to recover herself, so she could deal with his shit again. It was a repetitive cycle.

One day, he would think that he already recovered, but the next day, he would suddenly be at his lowest point again. No love, no soulmate and certainly no therapist could ever heal that part of him. Bing Shi realized that, and stopped hoping that he would ever become a recovered man.

Though they separated, she left the door open for him to return if it was too hard. She never ran away. He didn’t have to search for her. He knew where she was. He didn’t have to worry if she was safe or not. That, alone, showed how tolerating she was.

+– ANTI PIRACY NOTE–+

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