QT: Against My Will

339 5.83 – Figuring Her Out – The Sleepless’s Elite’s Wife

+— Author’s note —-+

Edited by Psycho S.

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Damnit. Seeing how fear replaced her startled expression as if she took it too personally, Xuan Mu leaned closer to press their lips together again, caressing her neck, hiding her sobbing from the cameras, coaxing her softly, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Does it still hurt?”

Bing Shi was much more sensitive. She didn’t only feel for herself, she felt for others too. She knew who to trust, who to use, who to like, until when, and how much. One broken relationship wouldn’t let her lose faith in all humanity. She didn’t view the world as black and white. She changed so many people’s lives, and nobody really appreciated it.

To survive, she adopted a defence mechanism. This was a curse, and a blessing, against the most dangerous predators: humans. Not many could feel deeply as she did. It was her tragedy. She understood them, but no matter what she did, they would never understand her.

No words could convey the things Bing Shi could see and feel when she simply walked by the street, dirty depression from the surroundings clouded her mood every time she passed a stranger; and working with hundreds of people on a daily basis shredded at the protective membrane that covered her skin. Her mission didn’t make it any easier as it forced her to comprehend the whole human population.

The girl’s loud sobbing caused the whole set to tear up together with her, unconsciously. They felt how she attacked them with immeasurable sadness, raw darkness emitted from her whole being as if she carried the fate of the world on her single pair of shoulders. She seemed tired and in pain, as if at any moment, her shoulders would fall apart and collapse.

Xuan Mu hid her face in his chest, kissing her scalp, apologizing continuously. He could feel it. And maybe she could feel it too: something bad was about to happen.

.....

People should stop believing that with enough love, one’s problems would magically disappear. There was no solution to certain types of problems. People who visited a therapist would know that no matter how good the therapists are, they wouldn’t be able to make one’s symptoms go away forever.

Both knew they wouldn’t ever go back to being ‘healthy’... they could only learn how to cope and keep living with their issues.

“CUT! Get him away from her!” The director yelled out. The general was only supposed to touch her face, catch her backhanded, and squeeze her neck a bit. What suddenly happened? Why did he kiss her?! Did he hurt her?! Did he?!

The whole set jumped on Xuan Mu and tried to separate him from Bing Shi. The staff were going as far as calling the movie’s male lead wife to put her husband under control, because no matter what they did, he didn’t budge and continued to stick to the crying Silika, “Someone call the police!”

The commotion was so loud that they didn’t notice how her crying suddenly stopped.

[|[Little buddy, put in a good word for me.|]

Xuan Mu lifted his gaze at XiaoPu, who bit his nails in worry. The boy became his companion long before he separated from his wife.

Bing Shi couldn’t lose her guard around this not so dependable system. Someone was stalking her and the boy was clueless until she pointed it out. XiaoPu’s learning skills were truly low, so most of the time, XiaoPu would be with him.

| I just wanted to see you, you know? I didn’t plan to give you a sweet kiss, not at all, but because you seemed to like my arrival... well, things happened.|

“Your actions just ruined a happily married man!” Seeing all the surprised Pikachu faces on everyone, Bing Shi wanted to jump out of a window, “Get away from me before everyone starts to misunderstand!”

Letting go of her shoulders with his imaginary animal ears drooping, Xuan Mu was dragged along by all the people who had their arms hooked around his limbs and torso.

|”Drop the pity card!”|

|Are you sure? I shall not take responsibility for my actions then.|

Yanking the people off, he went towards the changing rooms with a sly smile. She responded to his kiss, which was a good sign. He made the movie’s male lead appear and disappear on the spot. Thanks buddy, for lending him an identity! Predicting tomorrow’s tabloids... they would have a lot of things to explain.

Bing Shi took a handkerchief out of her pocket and blew her nose. Why did he have to appear on the set, and in front of such a huge crowd too? And since when did she become so incredibly sensitive to her surroundings?

What was the point in seeing and feeling the pain of living in separate parts of the globe?

The short answer: Pain was a danger signal. As an example, think of when one’s hand is placed on a very hot stove: a network of neurons in the brain would send a message saying that something was very wrong. She couldn’t shut it out as she pleased.

· · — · ???· — · ·

Not a few minutes passed by and Xuan Mu appeared on the set as Lukas. Like the caring husband that he was, he supported his wife in the car and protected her from the nosy paparazzi.

While the police investigated the innocent movie’s male lead, they sent Bing Shi home and gave her a three-day rest. Since she couldn’t afford to get a day off, he decided to do something about it.

Now that her tummy is filled with everyone’s concern, let’s take her to a place with even more positive energy!

Sometimes she would say that she was hurting. But... the hurt couldn’t be that bad if she could cheer herself the next second, right? At least, that was what he thought.

He refused to believe that she could be sad 24/7, which she certainly could. He refused to understand it- he couldn’t even believe it, because it sounded absurd. Just look at her!

Bing Shi let XiaoPu sit on her lap and brushed his hair into two tiny pigtails happily, “Hubby look, don’t we have a baby right here?”

“Wuwuwu, I’m not a baby!” Exclaiming loudly, XiaoPu sat at Bing Shi’s lap without moving while letting her do his hair obediently, “I’m an honorable thousand years old system!”

“You heard him, he’s a big boy now,” Xuan Mu ruffled XiaoPu’s girlish hairstyle, and laughed as she destroyed her masterpiece, “This morning he asked for the same hairstyle as me.”

Bing Shi laughed out loud, covering her mouth but her sudden coughing came thick and fast. They didn’t know if XiaoPu was on their side or not. He could still be loyal to Guan Fei; he could betray them in the future, but it’s not like they minded.

Until that time came, they would accept him as one of their own. In case something really happened, she and Xuan Mu were pretty good at saying farewell to outsiders who were once a part of their tiny circle.

If Guan Fei really wanted to separate them again, the absence of children would be a great opportunity to cause a crack in their relationship.

Xuan Mu quickly checked her temperature: it had dropped a few degrees. They tried to wean her from the powerful pills, but they couldn’t do so completely, and at a fast rate too. So, they made her slowly reduce the dosage of her pills, so her withdrawal symptoms wouldn’t be so bad. It didn’t seem like she made any improvements during his absence.

“I’m sorry,” Bing Shi avoided his disappointed expression which said that she wasn’t trying hard enough. His gaze was so similar to the one she always gave her father when he refused to give up on alcohol.

She thought she found an easy way to resolve her problems, but the drugs that played such a positive role in her life, got her trapped. She continued to use them even though they became less and less effective, and her withdrawal symptoms were getting worse and worse.

Hearing no response, Bing Shi continued to play with Xiao Pu’s hair in silence. Yeah, she was no good, but what about him? Sensing Xuan Mu’s stare, she lifted her gaze, “No babies!”

She thought about it a lot. There was no point in reasoning; they reasoned enough. It was better to show her decision decisively, which he had to respect.

“I know, I told you you don’t need to push yourself.” Xuan Mu ordered XiaoPu to go home first. He thought they would be pretty cool parents.

+– ANTI PIRACY NOTE–+

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