Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 368: Any Place With A Bunch Of Men Gathered Around Will Turn Into A Battlefield!

Opening narration:

[Our story is set during the Warring Terakado Tsuu Fan Clubs Period. Terekado Tsuu had overcome scandal and achieved the position of the top idol. Countless numbers of fan clubs engaged in a furious battle for dominance.]

[Men fell in battle as they strived for supreme hegemony, the title of the official fan club. On this corpse-riddle battlefield was a group of men considered the strongestThe Terakado Tsuu's Imperial Guards!]

[Terakado Tsuu's Imperial Guards, the strongest otaku led by their brave general Shimura Shinpachi! Veterans among veterans who had supported Terakado Tsuu back when she sang on the street. Bound by an ironclad creed numbering 99 clauses, they had frighteningly high morale and did not know defeat in battle.]

[They dominated every other faction in performance quality, energy, obnoxiousness, and lack of women. Their long history placed them nearest to the title of official.]

[They were under constant attack from other factions, but the elite forces trained by the brave general Shimura were difficult to defeat. The piles of their challengers' corpses grew taller. It was a difficult situation to change...]

[...As many soldiers began laying down their weapons, a man appeared: The brilliant generalTosshi! He appeared on the battlefield like a shooting star and cleverly manipulated the deserters into his own faction named the "Tsusengumi"!]

[Unlike the others who could only revolt and fight, he didn't fight. He understood the workings of the heart of an otaku and enticed one after another to join from different factions. In no time, he had the largest force of all.]

[The Tsusengumi he created which covered everything from anime, manga, games, and other 2D media to 3d media, was not beholden to Otsuu. A group of chosen otaku who used all kinds of media. You could call it a Universal Media Club.]

[His methods, considered to be soft-line, were refreshing to the hard-line, old-fashioned otaku who only followed Otsuu. An otaku creed began to spread. it didn't take long for him to be considered a charismatic otaku.]

[And it goes without saying that the members of the Terakado Tsuu's Imperial Guards who were forced by ironclad principles to suppress their desires were the first to fall. They could no longer hear the voice of the brave general Shimura, who once inspired fear in all. Once on the verge of conquering the world, the Terakado Tsuu Imperial Guard was now... on the verge of ruin.]

[The arrival of a new star led to the curtain falling on this long period of war.]

"Aiya... today's chapter was really short~ But this is good, I can rest now~ " Gintoki, who was sitting on Yorozuya's sofa, yawned and summarized lazily.

However, just as Gintoki finished speaking, Shinpachi, who was sitting next to him, immediately got up, rolled up his sleeves, and smashed Gintoki with a fist. At the same time, he shouted, "Don't just end it for me! It's not over yet! That's right! The fan club is also the same! It hasn't ended yet! What do you mean by "this is good"?! Good my ass! In the end, this is just your wish!"

"Hey? Isn't that enough?" Gintoki sat up and wiped the blood on his face, "Isn't it good to end it like this? The narration has already made the atmosphere quite lively."

"End my ass! It hasn't even reached half!" Shinpachi shouted, his veins popping out, "How can it end with such a bad ending!"

"That's enough, Shinpachi." Gintoki leaned against the sofa and casually waved his hand, "After this, it's just your boring grumbling. It's so annoying. I don't want to hear it at all. Let it end. I'm begging you."

Shinpachi gritted his teeth.

"Who cares about idols and whatever? Go do it by yourself-aru," On the other side of the sofa, Kagura, who was gnawing on a vinegared kelp, narrowed her eyes and said impatiently, "It's a waste of time, you piece of trash."

"You don't need to say that about me, do you?! Tears are about to come out! Shinpachi retorted angrily, "You guys should know, right? How much effort have I spent organizing the activities of the fan club up until now? How much do I like Otsuu-chan!"

As he spoke, tears began to flow from the corners of Shinpachi's eyes...

"As for that fan club, it is currently on the verge of disbanding..." Shinpachi sniffled, a look of pity on his face, "After cheering and supporting Otsuu-chan this whole time... Before anyone else did! And then some random guy shows up and steals my members and status!"

As he spoke, Shinpachi slammed the table heavily and shouted at everyone present, "The dream of becoming Otsuu-chan's official fan club is about to be taken away!"

As he spoke, Shinpachi sat back down on the sofa and lowered his head with a downcast expression, "Unbelievable... I didn't think that man would still be alive... I thought he'd been destroyed by now...The curse has yet to be broken...That man still lived inside of Hijikata-san... And he's a suped-up otaku now! How can some half-assed idol otaku like us compete with that charismatic otaku..."

As he spoke, Shinpachi looked at Kawaki, who was sitting at his desk with his back to the crowd, "Even if I invited Kawaki-san, who is also a veteran otaku... it is still far from enough!"

However, just as Shinpachi finished speaking, he suddenly heard a "ZZZZ" sound coming from Kawaki's side. He immediately wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, stood up in confusion, and walked toward Kawaki.

"Why are you asleep?!" Shinpachi shouted a little crazily, then grabbed Kawaki's shoulder and shook it violently, "I called you not to let you come to sleep!"

"Ah... Ah?" Kawaki slowly opened his eyes. He looked at Shinpachi in front of him and asked in confusion, "Is it already lunchtime?"

"Be a little more serious!" Shinpachi roared angrily, "I didn't ask you to come here to eat! By the way, where did you start falling asleep!"

"I forgot," Kawaki scratched the back of his head and laughed foolishly, "I'm really sorry, hahaha..."

"It was when Gin-chan said the two words "Our story"-aru." Kagura raised her hand and replied.

"You were sleeping right from the start?! Did you fall asleep after hearing the "Our story" word?!" Shinpachi shouted in a somewhat broken voice, "Didn't you hear what I said? Hey!"

"I'm sorry, Shinpachi-kun." Kawaki had an apologetic smile on his face, "I get sleepy in history class."

"It's not a history class!" Shinpachi lowered his head helplessly. After sighing, he continued, "At first, I thought Kawaki-san, another kind of veteran otaku, would definitely help...but now..."

"Shin-chan!" Sitting next to Kagura, Takaya Hachibei, who was also Shinpachi's good friend and member of the fan club, stood up and said to Shinpachi, "It hasn't died yet! The Terakado Tsuu's Imperial Guards haven't died yet! You still have a member, right here!"

"Takachin..." Shinpachi turned his head and looked at Takaya in disbelief.

"There must be fan clubs that have not been roped in by them! Let's join forces with those clubs to fight against him!" Takaya danced with indignation and continued, "We'll show that guy! And the people who betrayed us! Our fight has just begun!"

The narration:

[As long as evil exists, their battle will continue... forever.]

"And with that, today's chapter is over." Gintoki, who had just finished his job, picked his nose and said lazily.

"You are not allowed to end it without my permission!" Shinpachi roared again and punched Gintoki, "Why are you trying to turn this into incomplete work? It's true that these endings happen! That most endings are this way! But are you that desperate to not hear our story?! You're going to end the series so you don't have to hear it?! "

"But I don't really understand official fan clubs or the like." Gintoki leaned against the back of the sofa again and waved his hand without any enthusiasm, "What are you people trying to do? What? Official? So you win the war and become official. Then what do you have? Do you get to go out with Otsuu-chan? Do you get to kiss Otsuu-chan? Do you get to [Beep] or [Beep] or [Beep]?"

On the side, the veins on Shinpachi and Takaya's faces were also bulging, and they were still beating non-stop. There was also a huge "#" character on their foreheads.

"... Becoming official will only get you a couple of biscuits and that's that," Gintoki said impatiently.

"Hell no! By the way, why biscuits?!" Takaya shouted.

"Because you don't look like you have reached the age of eating cookies," Kawaki took over and explained seriously, "It's fine to eat sweet biscuits, but you're far from the time for slightly salty cookies. Just eat sweet biscuits for the rest of your life!"

After saying that, Kawaki took out a bag of cookies from the side, tore open the bag, and began to eat.

"We are too miserable!" Shinpachi ridiculed, "Can't we even eat cookies at the end of our lives?!"

"Yes! At least we can accept slightly salty cookies!" Takaya agreed.

"Aren't you too easily satisfied? Takachin!" Shinpachi looked at Takaya and shouted, "Why are you satisfied with just slightly salty cookies? Your pursuit is too low!"

"Stop arguing, you two," Gintoki held a plate of biscuits and stretched it in front of Shinpachi and Takaya, "Eat it. Although it's a biscuit, I added a little salt for you two. If you can't eat cookies, use this instead."