This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!



A man with eyes akin to a thin slit sat in a small office in the distant towns of the central Schwarz.

The town, landing in the territory of a count, was rather placed well in the center of multiple villages, and with the city of the count right in the back, the place was the perfect spot for their business.

"Man, do you think that farmer from last time survived?"

"I bet his daughter would have tasted good, did we have to hand her over?"

The two of his henchmen continued bothering him with their senseless words.

"What say, leader?"

At the call, the man with slit eyes leaned back on his chair and placed his feet on his table. He reached into his drawer and pulled out a hand-rolled cigarette filled with Kush.

"Both of you have no drive, Carter, Logan."

"No drive?" The bigger of the two hunks asked. "Ah, leader you're going high before even lighting your joint."

"Shut up," the leader snapped at Carter. "Go and bring the newspaper in. Fucker."

The leader took in a puff of his joint and felt his mind calming down.

Yes, neither of these two idiots held any pride or drive. Even though they were part of the group pretty much ruling of this country through its shady deals, they were satisfied with simply being the 'on-paper' owners of a real estate business.

They had to dream big, and aim even bigger! Fuck, they could own the villages. They could boss around with power. The head of a place should be quaking in their boots at the mention of his name! That's what he wanted.

Stretch a hand and take anything you want.

That was power.

That was what influence held.

And here he was stuck with these two blabbering fools.

Carter opened the door to their tiny little office and stepped inside with the newspaper that was delivered in the middle of the day.

"There you go, leader," he tossed it over to his hands and the leader flipped it open. He pulled out a small piece of paper inside the newspaper and tossed the thing away.

These were the details of the people that the money had been lent to from their boss in the count's city. They would collect it all, and then head over to deliver the money.

"Hm, this one is in the town itself?" The leader said, taking another puff of smoke. "Hm… donut shop guy, huh? I always knew it was absurd."

The leader slammed the paper down and sat up.

If he wanted to dream big, he had to show results. Even if it was with these two losers, he was going to do it.

"Come along! Come on!"

The two men covered themselves with long trench coats and stepped out of the building. Bells tolled and the din of the crowd filled their ears as the people of the town filled the streets outside.

Many people walked around hand in hand with all kinds of foodstuffs, while many others had just returned from their groceries and were heading back home. People busy with their jobs weren't lacking and neither were adventurers spending the day drunk.

The leader continued smoking as he pushed away the people on the sidewalk, young and old didn't matter.

With his two strong men on both sides, the leader found his way to the central parts of the city. There, a small shop stood.

With a giant skull as its base.

The shop's counter was in one eye of the artificial skull and the billing was done in the second, while donuts were showcased in the gap for the teeth.

"Fuck, this weird donut shop always pisses me off!"

Screamed the leader. The stupid skull-shaped donut shop, who would even buy something from such a place?

No, it was actually a good idea. It was an idea with a lot of drive and uniqueness. Borrowing money to make this shop, is pretty good. People thought so too, it brought in a ton of customers.

If only.

If only this little fuck had made actually good donuts that didn't taste like fucking bones and had the same texture too!

God, the leader was annoyed. He was annoyed as hell.

He walked up to the counter on his own tapped on the glass. Standing on the other side was man with a mohawk and piercings.

"Hey, can I get today's special?" The leader asked, taking another whisk of the smoke.

"Sure, sure," the man answered. He reached into the freezer and pulled out a donut. The bastard didn't even have the decency to serve it hot, or in a plate or something.

The leader grabbed the donut, and drived it ahead into the sever's mouth.

"EAT SHIT!" He screamed, pulling out the badass one-liner he had been smoking on since he left his office.

But, before he could drive it into the Mohawk's face, a boy with red hair and a black apron stopped him.

"Kuh…"

He tried to move his hand, but couldn't.

"You little—"

"That donut… was made by a person dear to me," the boy spoke. He then dived ahead and bit it himself. "Hm, as I thought. It's tasty as fuck."

"Who are you?!" The leader shouted. All the patrons around gazed at him. "What are you watching for? Get this bastard!"

"Sir!"

Logan and Carter jumped ahead in an attempt to stop the red-haired boy, but without letting go of the donut in his mouth, the boy pulled out two more donuts and stuffed their faces. Speed that couldn't be hoped to matched in full display.

"Oh… this…"

"Amazing… was the donut always this good?"

"Kuh! Let go! Let go you bastard!" The leader screamed and waved his free hand around. Though the boy dodged, he managed to knock the donut off of his own men's mouth.

"NO!"

The boy screamed and tried to stop it, but the donut fell to the ground.

Eyewitnesses state that a cloud of dust and blood had appeared after that. And the three men were taken back into the shop.

Though many were curious, no one stepped near the shop anymore in fear of the new employee.

"Now then," in the kitchen, the red-haired boy stood next to a red-haired man, glaring at the three collectors. "Who do you serve?"

"""You! Boss Luka!"""

The first step of Albert's plan had started off well.