This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

"AHHH!! YUJIN! It's you!"

"Shut the fuck up! That's why I have been so fucking annoyed all this time!"

"Wait wait, don't move let me get off!" Albert yelped as I tried to stand up. The weights on my back swayed, but the bastard managed to jump off at the right time.

I bit my lips in annoyance and stood up, without letting my hands touch the ground or the weights. The heavy stacks totaling 900 kilos fell on the ground of the gym, giving rise to a giant cloud of dust.

I stared at the man in front of me. In the first place, I couldn't recognize anyone. Yet, there wasn't much of a doubt.

"You really are, Albert Wessler?"

"And you're Yujin Han. I can't believe this."

"Well," I said. "It's different now. It's not right to call me Yujin Han. I am Eugene Hall."

"Hah!? That's a load of crap—Wait, wait, wait!"

Albert suddenly scuttled in front of me and glared at my face. He held my shoulders and observed me from a dozen angles before stepping back with a mouth agape.

"You're… supposed to be Eugene Hall? Y-you look nothing like the CGs."

"I am a changed man."

"But still! This Eugene is too buff, and there's scars and missing fingers? Why do you even have a missing finger? And what's with the long hair."

I sighed and shook my head. As I thought, this constant talking is an annoyance that can only be brought by one person.

"Things just happened, it doesn't matter. And my hair is cool, alright?"

"Sure sure, you do look badass. But well, if I was transported to a game world I at least wanted to see this punk getting beat up."

"Yeah?"

Beat up reminded me of something.

I had regained the memories of my previous life after dying at the hands of that dragon. Now. Many people died, but not everyone had their memories sent to a body in another world.

"What's up? Why'd you freeze? Well honestly, I can't believe it myself…"

So, if there was something that could do it. It must be the dragon.

My forehead twitched as I felt veins popping on my head.

"Yujin? Yuuuujean? Jin? Yuyu?"

Albert this bastard was waving his hands in front of me.

I clenched my fists and my teeth.

And swung them up.

"WOAH!?"

Albert screamed, barely dodging the punch.

"What was that—"

I twisted my body at once and with even greater force, swung the other hand.

Albert ducked. The punching bags in the distance burst apart from the Air Force.

"Holy fuck?!" He screamed as he looked back, but my leg was already up and ready to stomp him.

"Eek!" Albert screamed as he slithered to his back.

"Why? Why are you attacking me all of a sudden?"

"Albert you scum!!"

"Woah! Eugy, I don't know what's going on, but you seem angry."

I nodded at Titania's words.

"Well, take a Titania punch!" My fairy partner giggled as she shot off through the air.

"Hey! Using a fairy is cheating! It's straight cheating!"

Albert's words fell on deaf ears.

I had already noticed that his eyes lingered a second too long on Titania, that was the reason he had approached me in the first place. Titania shot through the wind and stretched her palm out, screaming 'Titania punch!'

"Woah woah woah! Aine! Aineee!"

His mana swept through his hand and the emblem studded on the back of his palm glimmered with a golden glow. A flash of light spread through as another fairy appeared in mid-air.

"Aine! That one!"

"What do you want annoying blabbermouth bastar—AH!!!"

The blue-haired fairy totally seemed like the type that would join my side. She yawned and turned to us when she suddenly started screaming.

My dear fairy clenched her fists and smiled.

A crack spread as she pressed her knuckles together.

"Q-qu-queen… My queen…"

"A-I-N-E."

"EEEEK!" The blue-haired fairy screamed and rushed into Albert's face. "Cancel the summon! Cancel it…!"

Before Albert could react to her words, the fairy's leg was dragged behind. Her wings fluttered and her hair clung to Albert but to no avail.

"Come here, you little bitch!"

"Nooo! I am sorry, I am sorry!!"

Titania held the little fairy in her hands and started spinning her from the leg. The fairy cartoonishly stretched out and in as Titania completely made a joke of her.

After smacking her against nothing in the middle of the air, she pulled the crying fairy close. Titania crossed her legs and sat in mid-air. Then, she placed blue-haired fairy on her thighs.

A cheeky grin spread through my darling fairy's face.

"No, no! I am sorry, my queen! Please forgive me! Pleaseee!"

"No. Can. Do! HAHAHA!"

Titania flipped up the fairy's skirt and pulled her hand back. Spreading her palms, she took in a deep breath.

And spanked the little fairy.

"Oooh…"

"Ouch…"

Both Albert and I winced, and a moment later…

"AAAAH!"

The other fairy screamed out loud.

"Take this!"

And then, Titania's unbridled spanking began.

Loud slaps spread through the room, followed by even louder screams. With each second that passed, the perfectly white butt of the fairy turned red and then even purple, but Titania did not stop.

"Oh, well," I shrugged and turned away again. My target was someone else.

"Fuck, you're still going!?"

"Catene."

The chains around my arms changed form and… became smaller?

Catene Di Adamas, the unconquerable chains, turned into a mini version as they swept through the air and tied up the little fairies hands and legs.

The stupid chains had tied up the fairy.

I could have sworn I saw small blush marks on the chain.

From the sides, a loud happy scream rang out as Albert pumped his fists.

"Yahoo! Bondage! I knew you'll come through brother—OWHUGHGHEK!"

He was kicked in the sides.

"Stupid chains, get here! Get here before I remove the Adamas from your name!"

The chains, still blushing, let go of the fairy and slowly moved over to my hands. It formed a long sword of black, still fucking blushing.

Albert stood up in the distance but I was a step faster. I charged right in and swung the sword.

"Fucking hell!" Albert dodged yet again. This bastard was still just as monstrous when it came to reading movements.

He ducked low and stretched his palm.

And a set of strings appeared in his hands.

"Oh?"

With flicks of his fingers, the strings stretched all over the place and tried to wrap around me. But if he was good at reading, I was even better at feeling.

I jumped and avoided all the wires coming for my neck. Twisting my body, I avoided the next wave and with the swing of my sword, deflected the last. Spinning in the air, I turned to kick the bastard, but he dodged again.

Fine.

If he can read all my movements. I just had to do what I always did.

Hit him so fast that he can't do jack even he reads them.

Taking in a deep breath, I filled my body with Ki. My hands were outwardly covered with Mana. And then, I shot ahead.

I swung my fist, he dodged.

Then I swung the sword this time, faster than the last.

Albert flinched, but evaded yet again.

Another. Faster.

Faster and faster, I kept hitting the bastard.

"Aaah! N-no violence! No violenceee!"

Albert screamed as he was punched square in the jaw.

The rat flew away again and fell to the ground.

I rolled my wrists and approached Albert.

"Why… why are you even hitting me?"

This bastard.

Now, I can't say the truth.

"How dare you die after I died huh!?" I cooked up an excuse on the spot! This was good. "Give me some honor! Put some respect to my name! When kids didn't sleep in that world their mums used to say 'sleep child, else Yujin will appear!' And yet. And yet, you made my death completely useless?"

"You son of a bitch, I died after you did!"

"Hm?" I tilted my head.

So my death wasn't in vain after all.

Not like I cared about his life, heck, I didn't even try to protect him. But if I was dead anyway, I'd rather be dead with some purpose. I definitely didn't just want to take out the annoyance that his presence brought. Promise.

"You were just trying to find a release for the annoyance, right?"

"No way!" I shook my head in shock. "How can you think of me like that! I promise I wasn't!"

"I don't know, that monologue sounds suspicious as hell!"

"You just entered the story, please stop breaking the fourth wall!"

Albert sighed and shook his head. I really wanted to whack him again, but refrained.

"Oh hey, so you didn't die at that time? Did that dragon not kill you?"

"Nah, it was the dragon. I died like, two minutes later."

I whacked him.

"What do you mean my death wasn't in vain then?"

I really didn't care, but this guy made me curious now.

"Oh, so, after you keeled over your entire body burnt up right? But you had that monstrous reserve of Arcana and Aether which was running out of control? So, I just excited it and blew your body up on the dragon."

He used me like a landmine.

"Well, the effect was too strong. Bet half of Pantheon fell, and that dragon's claw too. Actually, the claw was what chopped off my head while it was being blown up."

So, not only was I disrespected in death. I was also blown up.

"Quick thinking man."

"Right?"

That was a brilliant use of resources.

"Wanna get some coffee, Yujin? Or are you still shredding?"

"Nah, I got Ki so I can eat anything. I'll take tea though."

"Inferior drink."

He was whacked again.