The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

Chapter 142

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A Fortunate One IV

6

I've mentioned several times that the Magical Girl Association of the Japanese archipelago highly respects me.

This is partly because I, Doctor Jang, often help magical girls.

However, in East Asia, human relationships don't work in such a calculative manner.

True "interaction" here only occurs when one transcends time limitations—when one goes beyond the human capacity to perceive only the "present."

Blood ties. Regional ties.

Who you are in the present is only a secondary concern.

What matters more is how long "we" have built our relationship from the past and how far we've overcome the temporal limitations of the human race.

The Japanese have also deeply internalized this truth.

Even in love comedy works, no matter how charming the characters are, the childhood friend who has already secured a "regional tie" with the protagonist before the story even begins will eventually win. This fact reflects the wisdom of the Japanese.

How could I not emulate them?

As soon as I arrived in the archipelago to find the "Hate Pill," I sought out old connections.

“Ah, Mr. Jang! Long time no see! How have you been?”

“Yeah. Have you been well too?”

“Yes! Long time no see, Dokseo-chan!”

“Oh. Yeah. Sis. Long time no see.”

As expected.

At our meeting, the other person proudly used a "personal nickname" instead of my common nickname, "Doctor Jang," to show everyone around us that our relationship was not ordinary.

This, too, is an old Japanese grammar, similar to that of childhood friends.

The grandeur of transforming the alias "Doctor Jang" into the affectionate "Mr. Jang" silenced the other magical girls around us.

“Uehara, you look much more lively than when you were in Busan. Is it because you’re back home?”

“Hehe. Yes! Welcome to Fukuoka, Mr. Jang!”

Uehara Shino.

The nickname in my mind is "MacGuffin." The Korean alias is "Alchemist."

Those with good memories might have already recalled.

Yes. Uehara Shino was one of the 399 summoned to the Busan Station Tutorial Dungeon. To both Dokseo and me, she was practically an original member.

In today's language, you could say we share the same "empty ties."

“I owe you a lot from Busan. This time, I'll guide you!”

In Busan Station, she was always timid, but back in her hometown, she confidently led a group of magical girl trainees.

Originally, Uehara Shino stayed only on the Korean Peninsula during the early stages.

Finding a way back to Japan was difficult, and the local conditions were tough.

After hearing that she had to use the term "Magical Girl" instead of "Awakener" in Japan, Uehara Shino chose political asylum with tears in her eyes.

Even in the 90th turn, when I ran a convenience store, Uehara was still on the Korean Peninsula. And she wrote this message on the bills:

[Thank you very much. But no matter how I think about it, the store name and the staff's T-shirts are strange. Manager, are you perhaps a member of the Red Army? Sincerely, Uehara Shino.]

But by the 590th turn, things had improved in many ways.

The most crucial turning point was the disappearance of the Inunaki Tunnel.

When the barrier that had isolated regions collapsed, the Japanese archipelago, which had returned to the feudal era of 60-some countries, finally took a breather.

With some relief, the Magical Girl Association turned their attention to the skilled personnel who had gone abroad.

Since Uehara Shino was of the same "empty ties" as the Doctor Jang and had outstanding abilities, she naturally became the top priority for recruitment.

-But still, being a magical girl...

-Oh, I’ll make sure you get promoted quickly!

The position offered to her as an alchemist was the head of the Apothecary.

This position allowed her to claim priority over all medicinal materials produced and discovered in the Japanese archipelago.

My old friend, now back in her hometown and settled into her new role, smiled shyly at me.

“How can I help you, Mr. Jang?”

Let me make it clear: the protagonist who goes out to find items on their own is a third-rate regressor.

A true first-rate regressor leads their network to deliver the desired items to them.

Not only did Uehara personally go out to find the "Hate Pill," but she also made a strong request for cooperation to the Association.

There was even a subtle hint that she might return to the Doctor Jang’s side if they refused.

“Nyan! If it’s a request from the Doctor Jang, I’ll lend a paw too!”

[It’s time to repay the favors I owe. Leave it to me.]

Manyo Neko and Phantom Blade also joined in. Both were among the top ten in the Magical Girl Association.

“Here it is, Mr. Jang!”

As a result, within less than a month of landing in Japan, the "Hate Pill" was presented before my eyes.

Behold. This is the greatness of connections.

I don’t understand why some novels have protagonists playing the lone wolf. With such convenience, why don’t they build relationships with their companions? Strange protagonists indeed.

As much as I’ve received help now, I’ll have to return the favor later, but that’s what friendship is all about, isn’t it?

“But sir, you were like that until the 6th turn.”

“Hey now. Don’t judge a man by his youthful days.”

“That ‘youthful’ period is still older than me, sir...”

Dokseo grumbled, looking down at the item on the table.

“So, this is the Hate Pill.”

“Hmm.”

The Hate Pill was a bright red pill.

It looked so ominous that even if something went wrong after taking it, it would probably be considered natural.

But for someone like me, whose judgment day was approaching with each passing moment due to the Law of Total Luck, it was the greatest elixir in the world!

“What are you going to do? Are you going to take it right away? Honestly, I’m curious to see what happens if you take it. I actually like love-hate relationships.”

“No. You can’t just gulp down an elixir carelessly. To properly brew its effects, you have to follow the appropriate procedures and methods.”

“Oh... Was there such a procedure for the Hate Pill?”

There was.

Or more accurately, I was about to create one.

7

From that day, I stopped talking about "Three Kingdoms."

I didn't get involved no matter how much the Three Kingdoms topic trended on SGNet. I didn't mention it at all.

This astonishing change shocked those around me.

“T-Teacher didn’t bring up the Three Kingdoms even once today?”

Cheon Yohwa.

“Brother, are you alright! I brought the last of the Ceylon tea, scraped from the bottom!”

Seo Gyu.

[Are you really okay?]

[This is an emergency.]

[Doctor Jang. Could this be a sign that you are finally starting to fall?]

Saint.

“G-guild master... is broken... How do we fix this... I’m powerless...”

Sim Aryeon.

“Your Excellency. Honestly, I’ve never really liked The Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

The same goes for The Records of the Grand Historian and Water Margin. Aren't they just too old-fashioned?”

Yoo Jiwon.

“Oppa, I think I’ve started to like Liu Bei these days. So it’s okay if we chat about The Three Kingdoms.”

Lee Hayul, that sly Wei and Jin fan.

“Doctor Jang, I'm sorry. I haven’t been paying much attention to you lately, have I? I think you'll feel better if you eat something delicious.”

Tang Seorin.

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

And.

“……”

Noh Doha.

While the other colleagues were all concerned about me (I’m not sure what they thought of me until now), only Noh Doha looked at me with suspicion, his eyes narrowed.

“You…”

“Yes?”

“Just confess already. What kind of crazy scheme are you plotting this time...?”

It was typical of him, a workaholic who carried suspicion about everything. It meant he was unnecessarily sharp.

“You're so strange. Who was it who kept nagging me to stop talking about The Three Kingdoms all the time?”

“Well, that's because these days your eyes have a disturbing and sinister look...”

“Please refrain from slandering me. Head of Security.”

“……”

To brew the 'Hate Pill' to its highest potency, simply stopping the Three Kingdoms chatter wasn't enough.

I started to blatantly, almost shamelessly, help out my other colleagues.

“Yohwa, I found out there's a student at Baekhwa Girls’ High School who’s carrying a gun. I thought it was dangerous, so I confiscated it.”

“Eh? Really? Wow, thank you, teacher! Something terrible could have happened without you!”

“That was dangerous, Saintess. Even though you can stop time, you might still be vulnerable to dangers that strike without warning.”

“Oh... yes, you're right. Thank you for saving me, Doctor Jang.”

“Tang Seorin, I already know you can use a powerful spell by shortening your lifespan. But I don’t want you to die even a little bit earlier than me.”

“…Doctor Jang, you.”

“Sword Maiden, how about we take a trip to Mount Hua?”

“Oho! As expected, you’re the only one who understands me, Doctor Jang!”

“Chief Blacksmith Noh Doha, isn’t it difficult to work alone? Sometimes, I can assist you as an apprentice.”

“Damn it, you really are up to something, aren't you, you bastard?”

After stopping the Three Kingdoms talk and shamelessly flirting with everyone for about a year.

Sure enough.

‘That entity’ made its reappearance.

“Teacher! I can’t even imagine a world without you anymore!”

“Doctor Jang, on second thought, while the Inunaki Tunnel is secure as a hideout, its surroundings aren’t exactly ideal. How about moving to my train?”

“Boss! I’ve changed the name of the Freeboard to the Three Kingdoms Board! Although it’s nothing compared to the gratitude I owe you, please accept my humble thanks.”

I clenched my fist in my mind.

‘It’s here!’

That’s right.

The ‘Savior Entity’ had returned.

Just as fish reproduce when water quality improves, the moment the condition ‘The Doctor Jang stops talking about The Three Kingdoms’ was met, the Savior Entity immediately returned.

“You, damn bastard.”

Noh Doha grabbed my neck.

“You said you got rid of that thing. You said you knew how to get rid of it. Then why, damn it, did you deliberately let it appear again? Huh...? Do you really want to die? Is your new hobby getting strangled to death by me?”

“To be factual, I’ve only been strangled to death by the Head of Security three times. And currently, my neck is protected by an energy shield, so it’s impossible for someone with such a low level of aura like you to kill me.”

“Three times? Damn it, wasn’t it just once? How did the other two happen...? No, this isn’t important. Just spit out that damn Three Kingdoms bait already...”

“Hey, watch your tone when asking for a favor.”

“No, seriously. This damn bastard…”

Bang, bang, bang!

The Savior Zombies banged violently on Noh Doha’s personal bunker door. Since this scene had already been covered before, I’ll skip the detailed description.

Of course, there were differences from last time.

For example, the presence of Oh Dokseo hiding in the bunker, or the knocking on the door, which now included the dignified inner force of the Sword Maiden.

But apart from these small changes, there was still a major difference.

“Head of Security, Noh Doha.”

Thud.

I took a step forward.

“You remember what you said before?”

“What, that working with you is the worst...?”

“No. That when the time comes, and I experience the full brunt of the side effects from my wish on the Monkey’s Paw, you want to watch it unfold from the VIP seats.”

“Huh...?”

“You’ve waited a long time.”

Bang!

The door buckled.

The Savior Zombies broke through the last barricade and rushed towards us.

-Teacher…

-Doctor Jang.

-Boss!

-Head Director!

-Guild Leader...

-Oppa.

-Doctor Jang.

And. At that moment.

I took out a red pill from my pocket.

My hand-formed seals passed down from the Naruto era.

In a world overrun by strange entities in a post-apocalyptic scenario, there was a certain aesthetic to be upheld.

“Watch closely, Head of Security, Noh Doha. I’m about to do something slightly reckless.”

“……”

“Technique Sequential Activation: ‘Savior’. Technique Reversal: ‘Hate Pill’.”

“……”

“Reversed State: ‘Affection Reversal’.”

Crunch.

I chewed the red pill.

“Mister!”

Oh Dokseo shouted from behind.

As a hardcore otaku, Oh Dokseo's voice trembled with indescribable emotion.

Translated into human language, it probably meant something like, "I’m the one who made that guy a fan, it was me!"

I smiled.

Oh Dokseo. That child also knew how important aesthetics were in defeating these entities.

“Win.”

The time traveler declared victory!

Amidst the frenzy, only Noh Doha murmured coldly and quietly.

“You fucking bastard…”

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]