Taming the Queen of Beasts

GAR

Gar walked along next to his father, his heart swinging back and forth between confidence that this was all just a hiccup and they'd probably bond that night—and certainty that it was all going wrong, and they had no chance, and everyone was going to accuse Rika of being a spy.

He groaned.

His father sighed. "Gar, I know it's hard. There's nothing worse than the things we can't control, because we want to fight—but it's like boxing with your shadow. It's relentless, and for no gain. Trust me, you'll never successfully wear out the Creator. One thing I'm certain about is that He didn't give you a mate who was going to hold back on this for no reason. There has to be a good reason for it. And when you find it out, you're going to be glad—you'll agree with Him that it was for the best. I guarantee it. Maybe all this needs is time, and a little patience."

"Patience isn't the problem though!" Gar burst out. "I can be patient! If she'd say, "hey, give me a week and let's just kiss," or something like that, I'd be like, of course! But one of the reasons she got mad yesterday was because I kept checking in with her and being careful and she didn't want me to. She says she doesn't want me to go slow, but then today she gets nervous just walking into the bedroom. We weren't even doing anything!"

His father sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "Gar, I know it's frustrating, but I really think this is just going to take time. You two are learning each other, and you'll be doing that for a while. Your mother and I made some serious misjudgments of each other when we were first starting out, but look where we got? So you know what? I'm really happy for you. She's your One. I'm sure of it—the bond is there. She's just dealing with a lot—you told me that. Maybe worry less about scaring her in the moment, and focus more on the long term? It will come with time. I mean, if El can get there…"

They both snorted. But then Gar sighed.

"I hope you're right. I'm just ready, Dad. I'm struggling. I don't want people to be suspicious of her, and… and I'm worried about what happens if this all goes to shit. Because I don't want to miss anything with her."

To his surprise, his father took a moment to respond, and when he did, his voice was hoarse like he was fighting tears.

"I know exactly what you mean, son. Exactly. And I'm just so glad that's where your heart is. I'll be praying she catches up quickly, so you guys can enjoy each other."

"There's no problem there," Gar said dryly. "That's what's so weird about this. She's very… uninhibited."

"Congratulations."

"Dad, don't make a joke right now.

His father frowned. "I'm not. If you've received a mate who's comfortable in her own skin and wants to enjoy yours, it's a joy that will add to your life—and to your relationship, including your bond when it comes. I'm dead serious, Gar. The more intimate you are, the more you'll realize that your wellbeing is actually wrapped up in hers, and visa versa. You'll come to watch for each other—in this way, and in others. Trust me, it's a very, very good thing."

"But what if we don't get that time? What if this is it? What if—"

"The Creator knows what He's doing, son. Maybe… maybe if things do go bad and we walk into a war, maybe the thing to focus on isn't the time you didn't get, but the time you did."

Gar sighed and shook his head. "I could live with that if… if it wasn't… fuck!"

"What?"

Gar turned to his father and knew his fear was painted all over his face, but he couldn't do anything about it. "How did you ever let mom walk into danger? How did you let her go without it breaking you? Because Rika's got her shit together, Dad—she almost didn't let me cook lunch today because she wasn't sure I'd know how. She wasn't scared to be at the cave by herself. And she's ready to walk into whatever comes from the humans and just kick ass and take names. And I love that about her! But it kind of hit me this morning when we were talking about stuff… she's been walking into danger her whole life. And she's going to keep doing that. And she's going to have opportunity to do that soon!

"I never understood before how it must have felt for you sending Mom over to the human world. And when she got taken by the wolves, shit, it twists my stomach just thinking about that happening to Rika. How did you ever handle it without losing your mind?"

His father shook his head. "I didn't. It almost broke me. But sometimes there's no other choices. And that's where you're at, Gar—or where you might end up soon. Sometimes we don't have choices. And then we have to accept that she has her own strength—and that the Creator has a purpose for her that's unique. Apart from you." He looked away for a moment, his face suddenly haggard, obviously remembering something horrible.

"When your mom was at risk I just… fell apart," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But the Creator wouldn't let me go. Wouldn't stop telling me in my own heart, and through my brothers, that He had a plan. And in the end… I just couldn't stand in the way of that. If He wants to do something incredible through my mate, am I going to steal that from her?"

Gar chewed on that for a few minutes, his father strolling patiently at his side. But he couldn't let it lie. "There's nothing incredible about war," he said bitterly.

"Nothing incredible about people killing each other, you mean," his father corrected. "But in a time of conflict… sometimes you don't see what someone's really made of until you're there," he said, shrugging. "And only the Creator knows when we need to see it."