QT: Don't fall in love with the Male Lead

Chapter 47: Don't despair

The preparations for the wedding ramp up in the following days. Xi Zirui hates the logistics of being involved in the planning as much as before, but now he's trying to lose himself in guest lists to avoid thinking about Han Yu and all the time they aren't spending together.

He's also trying to find out which one of his servants is spying on him, and for whom.

Xiao Gou is obviously not a suspect, it's clear how much he likes Xi Zirui, and the idea of him doing anything that could harm him is pretty inconceivable. 

He's also too smart to be tricked by someone else.

Ni Ni of course has opinions on the matter. "Host as a huge blindspot, why wouldn't that boy be the spy?"

Xi Zirui doesn't have time to discuss the nature of human 'gut feelings' with her. "I just know it's not him."

The problem is that Xiao Gou isn't really helpful in pointing him in the right direction either.

According to him there haven't been any suspicious people hanging around the pavilion, or any servants straying from their duties. 

Xiao Gou is clever but he perhaps lacks the malice to notice any truly unusual behaviour. 

Xi Zirui is tempted to ask Granny Ma but he doesn't trust her as much as Xiao Gou, in spite of Xiao Gou's assurances that her behavior hasn't changed in any way.

"She still spends the afternoons when Xi-fei is busy practicing characters with me," Xiao Gou says, smiling wide. "She says I'm getting better."

Xi Zirui musters up an encouraging smile, but unfortunately that means he's back to square one.

---

Bai Mi's cryptic parting words make it clear that the "highest bidder" is someone close to her. Someone from her inner circle.

He can rule Li Siqi out. It's hard to see why she would care. She's not close with either her father or brother, so she wouldn't be acting out of concern for either of them.

Besides, if anything she's thankful that Xi Zirui got her engaged to Liao Min, if her shy smiles any time she's in his presence are anything to go by.

That leaves the cronies that are always trailing behind Bai Mi like her personal flock of peacocks.

High ranking consorts all of them. 

Realistically, all of them could have reason to dislike him.

But Xi Zirui has his eyes set on two of them.

A young girl with sinuous curves - a rarity among the harem - and amorous eyes, who, judging by what Xi Zirui has managed to tease out of Li Siqi used to be Su Xueyi's favorite before Xi Zirui came along.

And that delicate, bird-boned boy, who looks like a stiff breeze could send him flying through the air. He has an anemic pallor and large pleading eyes, always vaguely reddened. Xi Zirui thinks of him as a "boy" because that's what he looks like, but he could very well be older than him. Xi Zirui bets he cries, or pretends to cry, during sex, and that Su Xueyi loves it.

It's his former pavilion that Xi Zirui is now living in.

So, yes, those two probably have the biggest reasons to hate his guts. 

He's also informed that before he joined the harem, the Emperor had a set schedule for sleeping with the Empress, consorts and concubines, according to their rank and his own preference. 

But since their "consummation" Su Xueyi has been spending almost all his nights with Xi Zirui.

That certainly hasn't earned him any fans among the rest of the harem.

Ni Ni chimes. "Maybe some of them are happy with the reduced attention?"

And what exactly will they have to look forward to if the Emperor ignores them? 

A lonely life, where if they're women, they'll maybe see their children once in a while but have no say over their education or future.

If they're men, wasting away in a pavilion somewhere in the palace, without even children to keep them company. 

No, even those who didn't join the harem of their own free will would surely resent Xi Zirui for all the attention he's been getting.

Xi Zirui his almost certain that the person who found out about him and Han Yu is part of the harem.

Those suspicions only heighten, when one morning when he joins the other spouses to greet the Empress, she smiles as sharp as a knife and calls out to him:

"Little brother Xi should sit up here with me," she shoos one of the consorts sitting on the chair one level below her.

The woman gets up with a frown, and Xi Zirui makes his way up the dais.

He doesn't know what Bai Mi's plan is, but she said she would help him.

He's curious to see how.

The silence is deafening as soon as he sits down, hundreds of eyes fixed on him. Many of them outright hostile.

Among those sitting up in the dais the mood isn't much better. 

There's been a change in the pecking order, acknowledged by the Empress herself, and none of them know how to act.

Bai Mi leans over to whisper into Xi Zirui's ear. "Does little brother see now? Why he needs to be careful? Any of them could be orchestrating his downfall right this second."

Despite her offer for help, she's clearly having fun with the situation. Either she doesn't care that Xi Zirui's life is on the line, or she doesn't think the "highest bidder" plans to turn him in.

Keeping his voice low, Xi Zirui says, "Elder sister could make my life easier by telling me who I should look out for."

She lets out a tinkling laugh and brings around her folding fan to hide their faces. "It's all of them, little brother, they're all your enemy."

Xi Zirui turns around to face his gathered fellow spouses, his brothers and sisters, and it might be due to Bai Mi's words, but he thinks he sees their mellow smiles stretch into jagged shapes, their mouths filled with daggers where their teeth should be.

All at once they start walking towards him, their jaws splitting into a demented jeer, their eyes flashing with malice. 

Xi Zirui shakes his head in disbelief trying to make the sinister vision go away, but they continue advancing on him, arms outstretched to grab him, drag him down from the dais and tear the skin from his bones. Until there's nothing left on him for anyone to find beautiful.

"Xi-fei, wake up."

He wakes up with a shocked cry, choking on the scream clogging his throat. 

Xiao Gou looks up at him with a concerned expression. "Xi-fei was having a nightmare again."

Xi Zirui pats his head, dizzy with relief, and pulls him up on the bed with him. Making a space on the mattress so that Xiao Gou can sleep next to him.

He's been sleeping on a cot on the floor ever since the nightmares started, whenever the Emperor isn't staying over, worried that the evil spirits might attack Xi Zirui during the night if there's no one there to scare them away.

It's always the same nightmare, ever since that day he sat on the dais below Bai Mi. The other concubines advancing on him like a pack of hungry wolves and tearing him limb from limb.

Sometimes he wakes up at beginning of the carnage, sometimes only after they've picked him clean.

Every time he wishes Han Yu was there with him.

The worst part is that he's no closer to knowing who's trying to bring him down, or what information they have.

If everyone is an enemy, who does he trust?

---

The day of the wedding finally arrives, but Xi Zirui isn't feeling very joyous, or even relieved he can stop planning the damn affair.

As expected, it's a grand event, with thousands of guests including distant Kings Su Xueyi plans on further ingratiating himself to with plenty of food and song; lavish decorations all over the main buildings of the palace complex and the surrounding courtyards. 

All of it decorated in auspicious shades of red that Xi Zirui picked himself.

He takes his place in the main hall, standing next to the other concubines to watch as the brides make their entrance.

They're both resplendent in their red and gold robes. 

Li Siqi wears a crown so heavy and wide it almost rivals Bai Mi's, the train of her robe drags behind her for several chi. 

Her peach blossom eyes shine with undisguised happiness, and her cheeks are tinged a permanent, charming red.

Liao Min looks no less stunning in her wedding robes, less embroidered and intricate than Li Siqi's, more sober perhaps, but no less flattering to her tall and slender figure. She wears her hair gathered in a sleek tail that shows off the sharpness of her fine features, the height of her cheekbones the angle of her phoenix eyes.

Seeing them both smile shyly at each other in front of the altar and listen to rites, Xi Zirui feels a bittersweet twinge.

This is a much more elaborate and sumptuous wedding than the quick ceremony that bound him to Su Xueyi. Li Siqi is going to be Liao Min's First Wife, and that requires the appropriate fanfare.

But the bittersweetness comes from the fact that he's pretty sure Liao Min will never take another.

It's plain to see in her eyes as she bows to Li Siqi.

He wishes that he and Han Yu could have the same opportunity in this world.

Somehow, everything he has gone through in this world makes the struggles of the first world feel insignificant in comparison.

Xi Zirui tries to find Han Yu among the guests, but the main hall is too packed for him make him out among the crowd.

Soon the ceremony is over and Li Siqi and Liao Min are married.

Of course that doesn't mean the extravagant party Su Xueyi has decided to throw is.

Unfortunately for Xi Zirui that means he's now expected to play the guqin for everyone in attendance.

Trying not to let his displeasure show, he makes his way to the curtained off square on the dais that has been prepared for him.

He sits down behind the guqin and prepares to regale everyone with Doraemon's theme song, as per Su Xueyi's request.

---

There is many a teary eye in the room when Xi Zirui finishes his soulful set. 

Thankfully, he's in such a bad mood that he doesn't even feel like laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

His mood only sours when Su Xueyi calls him over to his table.

He tries to sit down on the pillow next to Su Xueyi and his drinking companion, but Su Xueyi pulls him into his lap unceremoniously. 

His liquor breath hits Xi Zirui like a punch, and he fans himself to disguise his disgust.

"My Xi-fei played beautifully, as always," he says, and plants a kiss on Xi Zirui's cheek.

The man sitting across from Su Xueyi gives him an appreciative once over. "His Majesty the Emperor of Su's concubine?"

Su Xueyi hums. "The newest addition to this Emperor's harem, and by far the most shinning of his jewels."

Xi Zirui squirms, uncomfortable with being talked about as if he isn't there. 

Su Xueyi doesn't care about his discomfort and tightens his arms around his waist.

"Very fine quality. He looks as if he's been fed on nothing but honey and lychees all his life," the man says, and reaches across to run a finger over Xi Zirui's cheek. "Does he also taste sweet when His Majesty bites into him?"

Xi Zirui bites down on the inside of his cheek so hard he almost draws blood.

Su Xueyi only laughs. "King Diming, he's sweeter than any fruit and more fragrant than any flower." 

"It's true what they say about the beauties in the Great Su!" King Diming throws back his head in a powerful guffaw, but there's no mirth in his cold eyes when he next levels a heated look at Xi Zirui. "Does he have a brother? This King will give his family has many goats as they want."

Xi Zirui is on the verge of despair at having to listen to this conversation when a shadow falls over their table.

His eyes widen in surprise when he sees Han Yu, magnificent in his black and gold robes, his bright dark eyes burning with indignation.

"This Prince apologizes for the interruption, but Xi-fei must come at once."