On The Other Side: I Quit Being Human

"Paranoia and instinct are two different things!" Kruff vehemently argues. "Paranoia comes from the mind, but instinct comes from the heart!"

I have many arguments to counter his, mind you, but I still decided to keep silent. I know he won't be able to understand a single thing I say, if I explain him what instinct actually is.

"I am sure I didn't use my instinct to fight these guys; I figured what was going on due to my keen observation. The reason why I could fight them well for the latter part of the fight was also because I had got used to their way of fighting."

At that, Kruff blinks his eyes then looks at me weirdly. "Of course, I know about that. That's not what I am talking about."

"Huh?"

"You couldn't actually tell their individual prowess until you beat them one by one, could you? For some reason, though, you could still somehow figure out who was lacking in what part, couldn't you?"

Now that I think about it, that was indeed the case. "That was just me over analyzing them." Still, it doesn't mean anything.

"Think about it this way, Layland. Observation only gives you a superficial knowledge. To know what is inside, which is Mana, you can't just simply rely on your eyes."

"What you are saying is...?"

"You still need to gauge their strength with your Mana Sense, don't you? Now, remember that you couldn't tell anything about them even after scanning them with your Mana? How could you tell they were vulnerable without relying on Mana?"

The amount of Mana you have decides the firepower you have. For example, even though a Glock doesn't seem much compared to a shotgun, the story would change if the Glock was powered by nuclear.

To put it into perspective, the dumbest person you can think about will still be able to dominate the world—without any skill—as long as he has an absurd amount of Mana.

Back to Kruff's point, what he is trying to say is, it is impossible for me to tell someone's power just based on the prowess of that individual. Mana is, after all, a game changer; so without being able to gauge it, I can't say if someone is weak or strong.

In other words, I shouldn't have been able to tell which Warrior to defeat first or to "leave it for later."

"How could you be so sure the Warrior you thought weak was weak? Did you use Mana when you 'sensed' how weak they were?"

The questions got me thinking. As I strongly believed it was all because of my supreme observation skill, I didn't think the decision I made came from my subconscious; I thought my decision was based on logic and the reality presented before me.

After thinking about the "logic" that affected my decision, I now doubt myself.

The reason why I picked the Warrior with the noticeable traits that I deemed making them weak was because I had an inkling they would be an easy prey. It doesn't sound so logical now.

Like Kruff said earlier, there was no guarantee their Mana capacity was subpar just like their lacking skills. Despite so, I still took the risk, because I was convinced their lacking skills indicated that they were weak.

"I... Didn't use Mana to figure that out. I just 'knew' that they were weak."

"Kuhahaha! That's it, Layland!" Kruff pats my shoulder in excitement. "You know how to listen to your heart now. That 'paranoia' you had was just your heart telling you there was something wrong. You listened to it, and you prevailed."

In the world where Magic exists, anything that involves Mana is hardly a fluke. Although this 'instinct' thing is a little bit silly, I believe there is a Magical explanation for the phenomenon to make it more make sense according to this world's standard.

"That is cool, but I am not too sure if I was really in contact with my heart." Thus, I decided to ask. "I was thinking about a lot of things during the battle, and that affected most of my decisions—except for the 'sensing' part, of course."

"So, you want to know how to be in contact with your heart?" Kruff quirks his eyebrow. At my nod, he says, "Well, actually you can't do that. You only need to listen to it, not be in contact with it."

"That's a rather contradictory statement."

Humming to himself, Kruff clears his throat not long after. "Kuhum! How about if we change place first?" He whispers, "You have created quite a scene, so it's better to run away from the responsibility while you still can."

Looking back, I am greeted by the "messy" state of the Arena. The blood decorating the ground aside, the scorched and split open ground is something you will immediately notice as soon as you look at the Arena.

Fixing it will be easy—a simple activation of the Rune inscribed there will do the job—but receiving a brief preaching from Valeria is by no means pleasant. Because of that, I immediately follow Kruff's suggestion, and get out of the Arena.

... We go to the open field, which is actually just 600-feet from the Arena.

"Uhh... So, where should I begin? Ah, right! Let's start with that," Kruff mutters to himself. "Kuhum! One thing you need to note is that instinct is not Magic. It is the same as your muscles, but it's obscure and abstract."

"I am aware of it. That's why I need you to tell me how to be always in touch with it."

"You need to stop thinking; because when you think, your brain will ignore your heart," Kruff states surely. "When you want to do something, just do what you instantly want to do. For example..."

Kruff takes out a gold coin from his Spatial Storage. He gives it to me, and tells me to toss it in the air.

I toss the coin, and he catches it a few moments before it lands on my palm. Grasping it, he presents me his fist.

"Which side do you think is facing upward? Heads or tails?" He asks me seriously. "Don't think. Just answer it with the first answer that comes to your mind."

"Heads," I blurt out without thinking.

He tells me to open my palm. As soon as I do, he opens his fist, and drops the coin on my palm—it is heads.

Although the fact that I am right makes me feel slightly good, I don't think it is that impressive. There is, after all, a chance that it is just a fluke, and Kruff is just messing with me.

As if he can read my mind, he asks me to cast a Spell on him to Seal his vision. I do that without questioning him, and he asks me to toss the coin once again.

He catches the coin a few moments before it lands on my palm, and asks me to guess again. I got it right, but it's because I properly observed the coin as it fell down.

"You are cheating. I don't want you think—I want you to feel," he says as he creases his forehead.

"Alright, you got me." Tossing the coin again, for fun, I close my eyes and guess half-heartedly. "It's heads." I open my eyes, and I am a little bit surprised to find my guess is correct.

"Didn't expect that, did you?" Kruff smirks. "Now, I want you to guess the next three outcomes of the toss."

"How did you know I was—you are playing a trick against me, aren't you?"

"You can do it yourself." Kruff shrugs. "I won't catch the coin this time, just so you can be convinced that I can't manipulate the result."

Frowning lightly as I stare at the coin, I channel my Mana into it. I check if there is a Spell cast on it or a Rune inscribed on it—there is none.

"Tails, heads, and heads," I say without thinking. I take out another two identical coins, and say, "I will toss three coins at once. The sequence will start from the first coin that lands on my palm."

"Okay." Kruff chuckles.

After stacking the coins on top of each other, I toss them all at once. I catch each of them randomly instead of waiting for them to land on my palm.

"What the..." Upon checking the result, I am bewildered to find that it is exactly as what I guessed—even the sequence. "Well... It's a little bit too much to call it a fluke now."

I cancel the Spell I cast on Kruff, allowing him to see again. He immediately crosses his hand, and raises his chin as if saying, "Do you believe me now?"

"It doesn't feel right, does it? Well, it will never be," he states sagely. "The key to be always in touch with your instinct is to never second-guess yourself. It will be very hard to do that in a crucial time, and that's why people rarely rely on instinct."

"Just be reckless, is what you are trying to say?"

"Not necessarily." Kruff shakes his head. "You don't need your instinct in a situation where you have an obvious decision."

When I am about to say something, Kruff puts up his hand. "I know. That is the hardest part of relying on instinct." Smiling, he adds, "Because of that, I am going to train you how to use instinct in the right time."

To be honest, the concept of Kruff's 'instinct' still doesn't sit quite right with me. I believe I can figure something out of it though, so I accept his offer to train me.

... I made the right choice.