My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

763 Standard Quiz

If I had a dollar for every instance my romantic life had been scrutinized, dissected and teetering on the brink of a well-motivated intervention, I’d probably have… a fistful of greens, to say the least.

Which, considering the socioeconomic standing of our world’s overall economy wasn’t of much help to me… much like this situation here, right here, sitting here, being pressed and picked apart once more for my romantic exploits, yeah, this really wasn’t helping at all. A precarious dilemma that no amount of fistful of dollars was gonna make go away.

I was stuck here. Only for three minutes though, one might point out the silver lining on this bleak cloud… except that silver lining there was actually the looming edge of a larger, bleaker cumulonimbus.

Three minutes and seconds rapidly dwindling was all the time I had to somehow defuse this bomb named Hayley before she blows this whole misunderstanding of hers into migraine-instilling proportions.

But how to start, and where to start while simultaneously not taking up too much of time… welp, let’s find out if Chester can manage to wriggle himself out of this one.

“So…” I began, doing all I could to keep my grin from trembling. “I noticed you didn’t raise your arm for Leon back then.”

Her face scrunched up, flicking her gaze to the silky flow of blond curls two tables to our right.

“Not my type.”

“That is indeed shocking. Always thought he was everyone’s type, considering, well, y’know… he pretty much is.”

.....

“Yeah, well, he isn’t mine,” then airily, she put on a pompous voice. “See, I’m just not like other girls, you know? I’m different.”

“You raised your arm for me.”

She dropped the voice. “I’m not allowed to?”

“You didn’t have to.”

“But I did,” She flashed a smile. “You’re welcome by the way.”

“Thanks for that.”

“Ready to return the favor?” instantly, that smile of hers faded away, replaced by something more pressing, something more troubling. “What are you doing here with Adalia?”

Oh, here we go. Okay breath, you’ve got this. Convince her.

“Hayley, it’s not what you think.”

Look at that, six words in and somehow manage to already make myself sound as guilty as sin. Just how do I keep doing it? Seriously, I terrify myself sometimes.

“Right, of course,” Hayley said. “Innocent until proven guilty, you’re right. Maybe it’s not what I think.”

“Oh, I’m sensing a ‘but’ already...”

“But do you know what I know?” She continued on. “I know Amanda isn’t with you. I know she’s currently at home arguing hot takes with her chat about who’s the worst character. Oh, I know that you’re here. I know that it’s Christmas. And I know that Adalia girl seems to be quite fond of clinging onto those big, burly muscular arms of yours.”

A blank ominous smile painted her lips to the brim, and knowing the kind of person Amanda was – smart, cunning, and senses too sharp for her own good – I get the sense that the kinds of people she flocks with had to be of the same feather.

“I remember telling you back in your party that you really should be investing more of your time taking your girlfriend on outings,” She snorted, and I felt the hints of a ridiculing sneer on her expression. “Somehow you just manage to double down in the complete opposite direction.”

“Relationships,” I spoke at once before she could get another chance, another jab at me. “You’ll agree with me, but they’re really quite the complicated thing to manage, aren’t they?”

“Not wrong there,” She tilted her head. “And?”

“Let’s just say right now I’m doing my best to manage them all the best I can, alright? Friendly, familially, and yes, romantically. Being here, sitting here? It’s just me managing them.”

“Managing relationships, that’s why you’re here, I see…” She said, clearly seeing but not believing. “So, is it the friendly or the romantic the reason you’re sitting across from me?”

I just shrugged. “Who says it can’t be both?”

“That’s not very straightforward of you,” Hayley remarked. “If you aren’t cheating, you could just say you aren’t cheating.”

“I’m not,” I said. “But, knowing you, I know it’s gonna take a lot more than that to convince you. After this, long after this, you’re going to be keeping a close eye on me, aren’t you? Me and all my… relationships, that is.”

“Well, I mean, you do work for me. It’s my job to make sure my employees are keeping up to policy standards. Honest, thoughtful, loyal…” She leaned forward from her seat, scrutinizing, devilish eyes piercing through mine. “Well? Tell me, are you keeping up to standards here?”

And to that I saw no reason to hesitate a reply. “Believe me, as best as I can.”

“Halfway done!” screeched in the cry of the elf-announcer blazing from one end of the tent to the next. “Better wrap things up! And I pray you leave on a good note before you move on to the next!”

Leave on a good note, huh? Yeah, I don’t think Santa himself would be able to grant me that wish here even if I had been the goodest boy all year.

“Aw, I missed the chance to see how you’d make a move on me,” Hayley said, sporting a prominent pout. “Damn, what a shame…”

“Not too late for that,” I said, clinging to hope of piling another point to my tally. “I’m sure I can—”

“Forget it,” She interrupted, waving a hand and propping up her clipboard with the other. “For now, I’ll give you both the benefit and mercy of a doubt and not emotionally castrate you where you sit, and also make this easy on you.”

“Uhh,” I grunted, unsure of whether to laugh or to cry. “Thank you?”

“I ask a question, get it right, get a point,” with a flourish and a twirl, her pen sat rigid between her fingers, the sharp silver tip pressed firmly against the page. “Hmm, but what to ask? Let’s see. Mmm, Adalia’s into Asterian vampire mythos, isn’t she? Okay, I got it.”

Drowning out the chatter, tunneling my vision, I braced myself to cling onto her every word, working my brain on overdrive ready any moment to start bursting synapses.

“Vampires are able to feast on the blood of all types of species, humans especially. But there have been rare instances where a vampire would choose to feast on a single being instead. Why is that?”

This sounded familiar. Hell, it was more than that. I was living breathing proof of it.

“The vampire might have developed an emotional preference for the individual in question?”

Hayley smirked at me.

“Nice sentiment, but I think you have love on your mind instead of Asterian physique. Blood types are a thing in Asteria, except it is more diverse there with many, many different variations from person to person, species to species. An individual’s nature is also taken into account, as well as their affinity to a certain branch of magic. And should all three somehow happen to align with a vampire’s, it is claimed that there is no greater feast to them than a being sharing these particular traits.”

God, was it really that elaborate of an answer? Or rather, is that really the reason why Adalia is able to drink my blood without any sort of repercussion? I always assumed it was only ’cause of my heritage, I didn’t think it really went that deep.

Or maybe it didn’t. Maybe having a deity’s blood just hits differently. Mmm, I need to ask later.

But if there were really that many variables to it, then it’s even more astounding that she’s even able to feast on me at all…

It might as well be at random.

Or looking at it in another light, It might as well be fate.

“Okay, look, I suck at Kronoci—Asterian lore,” I batted desperate, pleading eyes at her. “Something a little bit easier this time, please?”

“Thirty seconds!” came that sonorous cry again.

I batted my eyes some more.

“Pretty please?”

Hayley sighed, and to my relief, I saw her amused smile slowly begin to part open again.

“A lack of blood is a common cause that induces a frenzy within the blood-starved vampire,” She looked up at me. “However, there exists another way to induce a frenzy.”

There was?

“Albeit, only at a milder form,” then looking very smug, very expecting, she nudged her chin. “Care to take another guess as to what it is, or do you think you know the answer this time?”

Nope, haven’t the faintest, haven’t a clue. But like hell I was gonna give up now and lose that point. Just think, just rationalize, think logically, rationally. C’mon, what do you have on the mind?

“Fifteen seconds!”

What is still on your mind?

“Ten!”

I felt my jaw go slack.

“Love?”

And just like that, that smugness faded, that teasing smirk of hers suddenly turning to one of surprise and awe.

“Okay, maybe that was a little too easy of me…” She confessed with a heavy breath, the pen in her hand beginning to weave across the page. “Nevertheless, good job, you.”

“I… got it right?”

Her gaze then tore away from her clipboard, audibly scoffing in disbelief. “Oh wait, you guessed? So you really didn’t know?”

“No.”

“Oh, and here I was thinking that you had done your research about that in, uh… shall we say, other places, you know?”

“No, I… don’t?” I gave her a look. “How do you mean?”

Then, it liked clicked in my head, aided a little by her leer, the sound of her faint giggle, and I felt myself shift a little.

“You don’t mean...?” I asked.

“What else could I mean?” “She said.

“...and that’s time!” chimed the elf again, repeating herself for the umpteenth time. “Okay, everybody up! everybody get a move on! Find the next table and better luck next time!”

The sight of half the tent rising to their feet, the sounds of creaking chairs, the grunts and gazes of bitter disappointment, for a few seconds longer I ignored all of them, focusing in on Hayley’s impish look.

“A mild frenzy in vampires,” She said, her voice barely audibly amidst all the noise. Yet despite it, I heard her, heard it, louder and clearer than anything I’ve ever heard before. “It can only be induced during the act of intercourse.”