My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

761 A ‘Hail’ Mary

I saw no point in delaying, no point at all in holding back that first step.

Whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen, right? Pointless turning my stomach into an anxiety-meadow of butterflies over something completely out of my control.

Attractive. Not attractive. I didn’t need these kinds of validation from anyone else when I already got them from the people that mattered most.

Still, as I stepped forward front and center facing those million ogling stares, I don’t suppose it’d hurt getting a few arms raised in the air to my self-worth.

Pretty please?

My entire Christmas sorta depends on it.

“So, name!” The elf chimed, pacing a narrow ring around me. “His name is… um…”

I flicked my eyes briefly in her direction, seeing her in pause, both hands shuffling and rifling through her deck of forms.

“Number seven… number seven…” a mutter, a chuckle, then with a smile, she turned the crowd. “I lost number seven, whoops!”

.....

Whoops, indeed. So much for being a lucky number.

“Ah well, name’s not important anyway – what matters is those eyes. Check it – black as coal!” She leaned slightly over, her grin peeking at the corner of my peripherals. “You could almost get lost within them. And that stare, so scary, so angry, can you feel your skin crawling?”

Okay, I think I might like my odds better if this discount-Ash would just stop helping right about now.

“But hold on, maybe not everything’s as it seems! Perhaps behind his mean stare hides an innocent little boy yearning only to love and be loved! Long arms perfect for hugs! A lean physique just in case you don’t like too much muscle on your meat!”

I’m getting slandered, aren’t I? Okay, that’s it, where’s my lawyer?

“Alright, I’m now fresh out of things to say!” The elf relented with a sigh, then with one hand pointed straight at me, and the other addressing the crowd, she asked. “Time for the jury to come to a verdict. So, girls! Yay or nay?”

Oh boy, here we go…

A second passed, and that felt like a minute. I thought of Adalia, wondered if she already had her turn or was still waiting to step up to the plate. I mused about the reactions she’d elicit, would she be a nine? ten? twelve? a lowly four?

As far as I’m concerned, anything lower than fifteen was a straight up reason to launch a damn crusade.

Another second went flying by, and that one felt even longer. I contemplated saying something, anything. Follow Leon’s example and give a big dumb grin and a bow. Ultimately, I decided against it. I’d just wind up saying and doing something stupid.

Three, four, then I counted the seconds topping up to ten. Still hearing silence, still seeing nothing. I was beginning to lose hope. Was I really gonna fall back in line with a big round zero to my seemingly unimportant name?

No, apparently not, came my answer to my despair, my savior wrenching me out from the darkness, from all the way behind, two tables back.

A slender arm slowly protruded up over the classroom of judges, and I realized and recognized immediately it was the very same raised hand that was completely absent from Leon’s turn that thwarted his perfect score.

Now that I was a little closer, a little more to the center, I was able to lean out, weaving my gaze over to try and catch a glimpse of my secret admirer.

Just a little more, a little left, and…

Oh.

Oh, what.

“Two, three, four, okay that’s four so far!” I heard the attendant clamoring close to my side, apparently catching arms that I couldn’t see. “Anymore? C’mon have a heart, look at him! He’s so shocked by how little he’s getting!”

Shock was right. She read my expression right, but just not the reason.

My eyes were stuck on her, to the face of my first point, my savior, my admirer, and the familiar waggish grin etched across her lips.

I knew that grin.

Every sip I took of her experiment of the week. The almost reliable tinkle of front door chiming three-four hours into my shift, I’d always see it, always see her.

My boss.

That witch.

Hayley had her hand up for me.

I didn’t know what to think, hadn’t a clue what to do. All I knew was I had my eyes on her, and she had her eyes on me.

And God only knows what harbored beneath those oppressively sly eyes of hers.

What she could be thinking seeing me now, the both of us knowing my darling Amanda was spending Christmas Time holed up alone on the internet, while I stand here in the midst of a game exclusively for couples.

Get it yet? See how screwed I potentially am? Another judge, another acquaintance, it’s the RGB squadron and Irene fiasco all over again.

Look, I know Christmas is a time for reunions and whatnot, but this is starting to get ridiculous.

Is everyone in my social circle going to be the judge of me now?

“Seven!”

I blinked, and the world, the sounds, the sights, flooded back onto my senses. I blinked again, whirled around, and saw several more hands up in the air for me.

“Seven for seven! Hilarious,” The elf beamed. “Alright, that’s not too bad, not too shabby. That’s almost half! Okay, you can go back now. Fifteen, you’re up! Big smile, now.”

In a daze, and in a whirlpool stream of thoughts, I passed number fifteen on my return back to my place, quickly flashing me a sympathetic smile, to which I tried to return and only hope I succeeded.

Didn’t bother as much keeping track of the score of the rest of the guys onward. I tried though, I counted, noting only that none since could peak as high as Leon’s.

Besides, what greatly concerns me now was that one particular judge on the far right, two tables behind, whose arm I have not seen been raised since and the utter dread I felt knowing just what was to come right after this game of show-and-grade…

In a twist of fine irony, number one strode forward as the last of the bunch, officially ending the first round with a final score tied to my seven. A bit of applause, a bit of commemoration commenced as the game drew to its close.

But eventually, as the fanfare died down, it was then, there, that it finally sounded, reverberated, a faint high-pitch toll of a bell… as the elf-attendant sprung it out once more from out her pocket.

“As stated before, my row of Romeos,” the elf said with a little leer. “But physical beauty is only one part of this two-parter game we all play called love.”

And just like before, as if timed and on cue, a couple more staff members rolled up, well-coordinated and setting up empty chairs in place right across from every single one of the judges’ tables.

Fifteen judges, fifteen seats, for fifteen players.

“Fifteen boys for fifteen girls,” She said, pretty much echoing my thoughts. “You will each be seated with each other. And you have forty-five minutes until the game is over. Every three minutes, I will ring the bell, and you must scoot on to the next table. Like I said, your job is to somehow win them over in those three minutes, and to get the highest score within that forty-five minutes!”

My gaze drifted over far behind again, only this time, I didn’t even have to try and look for her. Hayley was already there, already staring. Almost as if she wanted me to know that she was watching me, waiting for me… any second, keen to judge me.

“It’s time for you boys to let your hearts do the talking this time,” the elf-lady giggled. “Compliment, flirt, make a joke, do whatever it takes to show that you really are the best boy! Do that, win, who knows? Come nighttime, maybe you really will be, after all.”

Leon combed his fingers through his locks, heaving a deep breath as if he was really gonna convince me he was in any way nervous about this undertaking. Like, you can just look ahead and find more than half the judges had their sights aimed at him.

They weren’t even being subtle about it.

No doubt, he could just simply blink at them over the course of the forty-five minutes and still walk away going fifteen to fifteen. I’m almost sure of it.

On the other hand, if I was gonna stand a chance at racking up a high score, I needed a game plan. Something that will make me seem grander, better than what I appear at first glance.

And I think I have just the thing, except… I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to pull it off as well as I hope.

Guess we’ll just have to see.

“Alright, boys, ready to play?!” The elf asked each and every one of us.

I looked forward again, Hayley’s smile now wider, more prominent than ever, and quickly, I blinked away, and took a breath.

I was ready.

“Alright!” a tinkle of a bell, the signal to go, and the attendant spoke. “Go grab yourself a table everybody!”