My Lycan Mate of Suicide Forest

Violet was working in her shop in the market with her mother just like every other day. Day after day of the same work, the same people.

She knew all the faces here in the pack, and she was bored. The only thing that she found joy in these days was drafting new designs. That's when she really felt like an authentic version of herself.

It had been her idea to develop breakaway designs of clothing exclusively for lycans. One of the things she hated more than anything was tearing her clothes while shifting or having to stop and take everything it off. It was such a pain.

Some of her friends agreed that fun, fashionable clothing that could easily tear away when shifting without destroying the clothes would be something they would wear. When Violet told her parents about her idea, they were supportive and found a way to pay for her online schooling in design.

Even with all the success that her shop was having now, there was an emptiness at the core of it. Everything she did felt like a cocoon she was spinning for herself to hide the emptiness that remained after Graeme left. Just like that emptiness she saw on the ultrasound that day after she bled.

She had been bawling on the floor. There was so much more blood than there should have been, and she had horrible cramps at the time. Even then she knew what had happened without anyone needing to tell her.

Graeme came and took her to Greta for an ultrasound. It looked like a white ring—a small white ring that previously had a little beating heart in it, but now that heart was gone and only the empty black hole remained.

That image stayed with her. How could Graeme approach her like he did in the market with those same shared memories in his brain? His eyes were just as empty when he looked at her now as the ultrasound image was on that day that she lost the baby.

"Violet, you can't do this anymore," he had said sharply. "You have to move on."

Rather than crumpling into a watery mess at those words like she would have in the past, she stared back at Graeme vacantly—pushing all of the feelings into that cocoon she had spun for herself so that the emptiness inside could eat them.

"Of course," she had responded with a small smile.

That's when he grabbed her by the arm and walked her inside. When he let go of her, his expression was fierce.

"Then why are you glaring at her like that?"

"Like what?" she laughed innocently.

"Look, Vi, you know I would have taken care of you," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

An aching cavern opened in her chest at those words—at imagining it to be true. For a time, she had had him and everything she had dreamed of. And then in an instant, he was gone.

Now she was just a joke to the rest of the pack. She was the lycan girl who was stupid enough to think she could be Luna. The lycan girl who had failed to carry an Alpha's pup to term. And now she was the lycan girl who had failed where a human had succeeded.

And now Graeme was here, standing in her shop with those warm brown eyes and hair hanging over his face. She had to force herself to look away. It was too painful.

"The Goddess had other plans for both of us. That's why you lost the baby. I have a mate now," he emphasized. "Don't you see how this is good news for you, too? You could have a mate out there—someone who you can bond with in a way that we couldn't. Someone who will light up inside just thinking of you—just being near you."

When she looked up to see if he understood how painful those words were for her to hear, his eyes had abandoned her again. He was thinking about his mate. The stupid human. She could see the way everything he had just described was true for him, because it was like just the thought of her made him glow.

"It's always only been you for me, Graeme," she whispered. "After what we went through…"

"I know it has been hard," he replied.

"Do you?" she snapped, but then she bit her lip and dropped her eyes.

"Yes. I lost people, too. I know what loss is, as you are well aware," he glared at her.

"I know, I helped you through some of those times. Don't you remember?" she mumbled.

He sighed. "I do. I also remember how you boasted about our friendship and how you planned to win me one day to every young girl who would listen. You told them I was lonely. That I was weak."

Her cheeks burned, and she glared at him. "I was young and foolish. I guess you wouldn't know what that's like, would you?"

"Yes, I do. I was young and foolish, too. We both were. But now we have grown, and you should be doing more than glaring at innocent people in the market."

"Innocent?" she scoffed. "Everyone thinks she's a witch out to claim the pack for her own, Graeme. Haven't you heard?"

Graeme slammed his hand on the counter, causing Violet to jump.

"Listen to me, Violet," he said through gritted teeth. "You will move on. You will leave my mate alone. You have had plenty of time to make a life for yourself after I left. There is no future with me, and you are only making yourself miserable by holding on to something that has passed."

She nodded in defeat. It was all she could do. The weight of his tone was bearing down on her like a heavy cloak, making her shoulders sag in submission.

"You deserve more than conversations like this," his voice softened. "I will always care for you."

She didn't raise her head to watch him leave.. He had sliced through any last last remaining hope she had, and her heart couldn't take watching the ease with which he did it before walking away once again.