Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 294: Glasses Plus 3% Of Water and 2% Of Trash Is Equal to Shinpachi...

"No, because there are only three lines, so I want to fully describe everything about you with a limited number of words," Kawaki explained, "It's best to make it so clear at a glance."

"I don't need it at all!! No matter how you look at it, "Virgin" is a bit redundant!" Shinpachi shouted.

"Indeed," Gintoki crossed his arms and thought quietly for a moment before nodding, "Anyway "Virgin" is a bit superfluous."

"Really?" Only then did Shinpachi let out a sigh of relief, "So "Virgin" is unnecessary."

"Because," Gintoki looked at Kawaki at the side and explained, "When "Shimura Shinpachi" is mentioned, don't you already know that he is a "Virgin"? If this is the case, it feels redundant to list "Virgin" separately."

"That makes sense. There is indeed a sense of repetition." Kawaki nodded.

"You two should stop before you go too far! Why do you think of a virgin when you mention my name?!" Shinpachi shouted angrily.

However, Kawaki and Gintoki ignored him and continued to write on the paper.

"Explain it to me, you bastards! Don't ignore me on purpose!" Shinpachi shouted again.

"Alright!" Kawaki put down the pen in his hand and nodded, "Now [Virgin] is removed, [Shimura Shinpachi] and [Sixteen Years Old] are kept."

"Forget it..." Shinpachi expressed that he was a little tired, "But finally, the word that shouldn't have been there has been removed."

"What about the extra line?" Gintoki crossed his arms over his chest with one hand and hold his chin with the other hand, deep in thought.

"How about adding some hobbies?" Shinpachi suggested.

"Old-fashioned." Kawaki and Gintoki replied at the same time.

"Old... old fashioned? Why? Why is it old-fashioned to add hobbies when introducing yourself? Isn't that what people usually do?" Shinpachi asked three times in a row.

"You said [usually] yourself," Kawaki spread out his hands and explained, "But it's obvious that the other party is not the kind of girl who likes that kind of ordinary situation. This situation should be considered more carefully."

"That makes sense." Gintoki nodded, then frowned and muttered, "But what do we add... I really can't figure it out..."

"How about "Strong Sexual [Beep]"?" Kawaki raised his index finger and suggested.

"Shut up! Why do you want to add that kind of thing in that kind of place!" Shinpachi cursed with a blushing face, "Will he be regarded as a pervert? ! And I never remember that I have such strong sexual [beep] ah! ! "

"No, maybe the other party's sexual [beep] is also relatively strong, and this possibility cannot be denied." Kawaki held his chin and muttered, "Because this private topic has led to more and more communication between them. It's not impossible to go deeper."

"How is that possible!" Shinpachi shouted again, "And it is just a pen pal; why would we go into such a private topic?! That kind of thing is not suitable to be discussed!"

"Eh? Really?" Kawaki looked at Shinpachi in disbelief, "I thought you were only thinking about that kind of thing in your brain..."

"You are the one!" Shinpachi said anxiously, "I never thought about that kind of vulgar thing from the beginning to the end! I just wanted to make friends with her! Simple! This is the origin of everything!!"

"Yes! That is it!" Suddenly, Gintoki raised his hand and knocked. He looked up at the puzzled Kawaki and Shinpachi and explained, "Origin, go back to the origin. Shinpachi, just like you said, go back to the origin and think about it."

"Huh?" Shinpachi was still confused.

"Think about it, Shinpachi," Gintoki continued, "Which aspect of this letter attracted you?"

Shinpachi frowned and looked up at the ceiling. He began to think.

"Yes, it is not the novelty of sending letters, nor is it because of the simple letter," As he spoke, Gintoki placed the photo in front of Shinpachi, "It's this, right?"

Shinpachi's face instantly turned red, and he revealed a bit of embarrassment.

"No... no, I'm not the type to judge based on appearance..."

Shinpachi wanted to explain in a flurry, but Gintoki did not give him a chance to do so. He directly pasted the photo on Shinpachi's face and asked.

"Really? Then let me ask you if this girl is ugly, do you think you will still be pen pals with her?"

Looking at Gintoki's expression of knowing the answer but still asking the question and the teasing expression on Kawaki's face beside him, Shinpachi could only choose to turn his face away and silently agree.

"This won't do. Shinpachi-kun, a man who is too superficial does not attract women." Kawaki sighed softly, then patted Shinpachi on the shoulder and said earnestly, "At least make a decision after knowing the measurements and weight of the opponent, Shinpachi."

"You don't make a difference either!" Shinpachi turned around and retorted.

"Don't quarrel," Gintoki said and then looked at Shinpachi again. The corners of his mouth curled up slightly, "But after saying so much, the result is that even if you want to write a good letter or do other stupid things, in the end, the thing you fancy... is still the appearance!"

"I... I won't deny it..." Shinpachi sighed heavily, then lowered his head, and continued with a disappointed face, "But if that is the case, I, who is not handsome, have no chance of winning at all..."

"Shinpachi, women don't just look at handsome faces. Because men like those who have a handsome face but exude a scum smell all over their bodies are everywhere." Gintoki glanced at Kawaki and comforted him at the same time.

"Hey, why are you looking at me? You're just taking the opportunity to scold me, aren't you? You bastard." Kawaki retorted expressionlessly.

However, Gintoki ignored Kawaki's retort. Instead, he picked up a camera and stood up. He then looked at Shinpachi, "Hey, Shinpachi, take off your glasses."

"It's useless..." Shinpachi knelt on the floor with his hands on the floor and said with a bit of discouragement, "Even if I take off my glasses, people like me..."

"Shinpachi, a noble soul can be shown through appearance." Gintoki consoled.

"Soul..." Only then did Shinpachi raise his head and look at Gintoki as he muttered.

"Don't worry, you have a noble soul." Gintoki smiled.

"Gin-san..." Shinpachi bit his lower lip and murmured. Then he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and said with a determined face, "Yes! I want to give it a try!"

...

Kawaki stood in the courtyard, constantly fiddling with the glasses in his hands. Gintoki, on the other hand, was holding a camera and directing it while taking pictures.

"Is that so? Isn't this kind of photo a bit too open? Is it really possible?" Kawaki looked at the glasses in his hands and murmured, "Is it really okay to open up the glasses? Won't it seem too frivolous? Sure enough, it should be folded."

"Children nowadays are much more open-minded than we were at that time. That's enough," Gintoki replied. However, after thinking about it, he felt that Kawaki's words were a little reasonable, "But it is indeed too open-minded, and it might have a negative effect. Why don't you fold the glasses a little but don't fold them all the way? It's too conservative, it should be just the right feeling. "

"How about this?" Kawaki folded the glasses up, and the other remained motionless, "It looks like you are crossing your legs. Would a girl like this more?"

"No, no, no, girls don't like this; it's too frivolous! Listen to me; just fold it all a little bit, and let the tops of the two temples tip come together a little bit! Just like that! The other party won't think that our Shinpachi is that kind of frivolous man!" Gintoki said with a serious face, "And this way the two of them have more possibilities!"

"So that's how it is." Kawaki nodded, and at the same time, he gently folded the glasses temple according to Gintoki.

"Keep this position and don't move. Shinpachi, it'll be ready soon." As he spoke, Gintoki pressed the shutter.

Shinpachi, who had changed into a white suit and had his hair combed back, stood behind Kawaki and Gintoki. He looked from beginning to end with an expressionless face, and the veins on his face were twitching.

"Alright, it's done." Gintoki nodded.

"Ah, I'm so tired~" Kawaki wiped away the nonexistent sweat on his forehead and sighed softly.

"The two of you..." Shinpachi finally couldn't take it anymore and kicked the two of them over. He cursed, "You two, take good pictures for me! Shinpachi is here! And what happened to those professional lines just now?! Explain it to me, bastard!"

"It hurts, it hurts, what are you doing?" Kawaki rubbed his head, stood up from the ground, and complained in a low voice.

"No, 95% of Shinpachi's components are glasses," Gintoki stood up and pointed at the glasses on the ground as he explained, "If you talk about it over there, this one here is Shinpachi, right?"

"Yes." Kawaki cupped his hands and nodded, not denying it.

"So I'm only 5%?!" Shinpachi cursed.

"The rest is 3% water and 2% trash. " Gintoki continued.

"Then am I classified as trash?!" Shinpachi yelled, "Or am I not even the 2% trash?! By the way, the photos you took are just glasses?! The other party's pen pal is just a glasses?!"

"Under this kind of worldview, don't you think it's reasonable for glasses to appear?" Kawaki raised his hand and said, "If you think this way, the other party can easily accept it."

"That's right, and the last photo we took was really perfect. The other party will definitely feel "the other party is really a good boy". She will definitely feel this way." Gintoki continued.

"Put the glasses on Shinpachi's face for me!!" Shinpachi roared.