His Beautiful Addiction

 Leo felt his heart shatter as he watched Claire cry; although he loved her, he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable because of his love for her.

''Please don't cry; I'm so sorry. '' Leo pleaded, closing the gap between them; he enveloped her in a hug. Claire wept in his arms; ''I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.''

She cried, her hands gripping his shirt tightly; ''God, Claire, please don't apologize; it's not your fault. I was the one who fell for you, and I'm sorry for making you cry, I'm so sorry. ''

Leo patted her back; although he would have wished for her to feel the same way about him, he didn't want it to be at the detriment of her own happiness.

They hugged for the longest time before Leo let go of her;

''I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable, I promise it would not happen again.'' Leo apologized sincerely. Even though she didn't love him back, he didn't want their friendship to end.

''Stop apologizing, you're making me feel bad, '' Claire whined, and Leo chuckled;

''Okay, okay, I won't apologize again. So we're good now? '' he asked with a smile and she nodded;

''Yeah, we're good '' Claire nodded.

'Alright, let me let you go, tomorrow's going to be really stressful, you need your sleep. '' Leo smiled standing up from the couch, Claire stood up after him;

''Thank you, I don't know what I would have done if you didn't want to be my friend anymore.''

''How can I not want to be your friend anymore, it's no possible. Come here. '' Leo opened his arms and Claire embraced him in a hug; even without saying anything, Claire knew the hug was just a friendly hug. No strings attached.

''Alright, goodnight now, will see you tomorrow; don't want to keep you up for long, today has been stressful '' Leo smiled and he walked her to the door.

''Goodnight; '' Claire bade him with a smile before walking out the door. As the door closed behind her, she couldn't tell how she felt. Everything was settled now, but why was she still feeling a pang in her heart?

Leo fell on the back of the door after she left, his eyes clouding with tears. He crouched down to the floor, bending his head over his knees. It was done now. She had told him to his face that she didn't love him. A light sigh left his lips;

He wasn't sure if he was glad or saddened by the news, but he was sure he felt sadness than any other feeling. He had waited years, watching her from the sidelines, suppressing his emotions for years unending, wishing that one day, she would see him, but until the very end, she did not. It was finally time… finally time to let her go.

Claire woke up a few minutes past eight, after taking a shower, she dressed up quickly, getting prepared for work. After doing her makeup and making sure she looked good, she picked up her phone from the bed, tapping on the screen to check if there were any calls from last night, her brows creased when she saw she had a message.

Bestie…

When she saw the sender, her heart fell into her stomach. She stared at her phone for the longest time before walking to her bed and sitting down;

'Claire, 

 I know you would be surprised to see this message, haha, don't worry, it isn't a terrible message wanted to let out the so many things in my heart, so I can finally let go of you. 

You remember the first time we met? It was in the meeting room; you had walked up to me and asked if I was the newbie? Claire; didn't know if you noticed, but when you walked up to me I was dumb stricken, I couldn't bring myself to even utter a word. That was the day I fell in love with you. I never believed in love at first sight or any of that shit until I met you. I thought it was a mere infatuation that would fade away but as days turned into months, and months into years; it only multiplied. 

I always planned to tell you, but I couldn't bring myself to, I don't even know why now, maybe because I knew you would reject me. lol. And then finally when I summoned the courage to tell you, you introduced me as your best friend to Drake, your first boyfriend. I had to bottle up my feelings and be the best friend you wanted, it's been hell, Claire. Seeing you with different men, it's been hell. 

But I'm really grateful for tonight, thank you, Claire. You've just taken a heavy log of wood off my heart and I can finally move on. Every day I'm always stuck with the question 'what if?' but right now, I have no regrets. You've been the closest person in this entire world to me, and I don't want to lose our friendship for anything, so let's pretend as if this never happened, And I promise you won't even notice that I ever had feelings for you, I would never make you feel uncomfortable. Goodnight Claire.'

Claire held the phone in her hand, her eyes becoming cloudy, why was she feeling sad? This is what she wanted right?

She felt her throat dry up as she read the message over and over again. He had liked her from the very first day, how had she not noticed? Was she that dumb or did she not ever see him as a man?

Now Claire thought about it, she had never seen Leo as someone she could have any romantic affair with. She bit her lower lip shamefully as she remembered all the times she had been half-naked in front of him, even the days she would snuggle with him in bed, hugging him tight; because she was cold.

She could not even imagine how terrible it was for him, having to suppress his emotions. Now she understood why he had always been single, and she had queried him time and time again for it, when she was the cause of his singleness. The every morning snack in his office, her countless pictures on his wall, or even his interests in every little detail about her, how did she not notice?

Claire grabbed her hair with both hands as she groaned; was she that dumb?

Well, that was because she didn't love him in that manner, else she would have noticed. Claire couldn't help but feel that things would not remain the same even though Leo had said he would not make her uncomfortable.

That day they met with the French models and the L'Oreal Commercial team, there was a lot to discuss and plan out but she was thankful that the staging won't take more than three days and before five days, they should be back in the states.

Claire was thinking that things would be awkward between them but Leo proved her wrong, in fact, he made her feel like a younger sister. Random hair rubs, or shoulder hugs, nothing special or extra. Everything was just platonic. Claire didn't know how she felt about it anymore;

If she didn't know he had feelings for her, she wouldn't have been paying attention to it, but because she knew, she couldn't help but feel that he was just drawing a line on their friendship. She was even sadder than before. He still cared for her like before, they talked like before but that extra closeness, he withdrew it completely, Claire couldn't help but feel empty on the inside. This was what she wanted right? Why was she so sad about it?

Claire sulked as they ate together with the crew after the day's work;

Everyone was laughing and eating but she couldn't even bring herself to contribute in the discussion.

Okay for example; if it was before, he would take his meat from his plate and place it in hers', pushing some strands of her hair to the back of her ear, he would say, 'eat up, you are so thin!' but now, even though he couldn't let go of his years-long attitude , he didn't take it from his plate anymore, instead he took it from the bowl and placed it on her plate, and instead of pushing her hair to the back of her ear, he just patted on her hair; saying, 'eat a lot, there's so much work to do, you don't want to be stressed out.'

God, why was she overthinking things? Was she being selfish?

How would she want him and still not want him at the same time?

Claire groaned internally; he was doing his best not to give her any wrong signal but that on its own was killing. She shouldn't be this way, it was for the best, but Claire could not help but feel bad.

''Claire, you haven't even touched your meal? '' Leo noticed her mood and how she was just twirling her fork on her food. Claire smiled and sat up immediately; ''Sorry, I just spaced out.''

 She chuckled and began eating. After the meal, she just excused herself and went to her room, sulking. She was being petty but she could not help it, maybe everything would return to normal when they got back to carlifornia. Maybe she was just feeling this way because it was in the heat of the moment and she was still in the same space with him. She'll be fine once they got back to Carlifornia.