Classless Ascension

Chapter 239: Chocolate Suicide

In the giant elevator, a tiny-looking man seemingly the size of an ant patiently waited. An external observant would have most likely seen a big elevator raising to high Heaven.

Then it suddenly stopped on Floor 3 as the doors opened, revealing a peculiar sight. Josh could see what looked like a dog house. It was brownish-red and was shaped like a miniature house. The entrance of it was the height of a kid and glowing white.

So there was a gigantic elevator leading to a tiny dog house. How useless! Josh bent and headed inside, feeling a sense of weightlessness as the world changed before him. He was now inside what seemed to be a straw hut.

He was sitting on a small stool, black chocolate in his hands. There were green leaves scattered on the floor, each full of mucus. What was this? Some sort of depression scenario? That's when he heard the sound of footsteps.

Someone burst through the only entrance with great momentum. "You complete and utter fool! What have you freaking done?! How stupid are you?! I'm ashamed to have a son like you! What about the clan?! What were you even planning with that chocolate?!"

Josh was taken aback as he slowly began piecing the clues together:

1. The newcomer was a humanoid dog that felt so human! It seemed to be a saint bernard and reminded him of the round with the human feeling monkeys. Besides its canine face and fur, it didn't feel too different from any regular Joe.

2. Somehow, this dog was convinced that he was his son, disregarding the racial discrepancy. Judging by the tone and assurance, it didn't seem to be lying or confused. Plus, it didn't have any eye-catching red nameplate above its head.

3. This son, aka Josh, had apparently committed some great mistake that had made said dog angry. It seemed like it had reached the point of risking being disowned. How absurd was something that even a dog considered stupid?!

4. There was some sort of clan. Was it a clan full of dogs, or were there other animals? Either way, it seemed like he had some responsibility toward it. How annoying!

5. What was he planning with that chocolate bar? Ah, chocolate was toxic for dogs, right? Had he been trying to commit suicide?

It seemed like this was the "reincarnated into a useless young master's body" scenario. Josh couldn't help but smile wryly. The Alter Tower had been studying humans recently, and this definitely included literature.

The dog was so angry that its teeth were showing, saliva flying all over the place. It was quite the spectacle. Josh calmly opened his mouth, munching on a piece of chocolate at the same time.

"You done?" He nonchalantly said as the face of the dog changed completely. It rushed at him, trying to make him spit out the chocolate.

"No! Quick, vomit it! This is the devil's food! It will—" It began shaking him.

"I take it you're not angry anymore? Good. Anyway, you seem to be overreacting a lot. How about you just take a deep breath for a second, and we calmly review the problem slowly."

The dog's eyes were bulging as it looked at Josh that seemed perfectly fine. He expected him to drop at any moment after devouring so much chocolate!

"H-how are you still alive?!" The dog asked, shaken.

"Because I'm not dead. Anyway, what made you freak out so much? I don't remember ever seeing you this way." ...Or seeing him at all, for that matter.

"T-that. You gave our ancestral bone to that bitch from the Hard-Paws Clan. I know you really loved her, but it's the ancestral bone we're talking about! She ran, and I'm sure she's not coming back! She betrayed you and—"

"Oh? You mean that bone. Don't worry about it. I grew tired of it, so I gave it away." Josh acted like the situation was under control. To be honest, losing a bone wasn't that big of a deal, no matter how he saw it.

"Gave it away?! Grew tired of it?! Have you gone insane?! Whoever controls the best bone controls the dog clans, all of them! How are you so calm?! Do you realize the gravity of the situation?!" The dog began shouting once more.

"Here is a little history question. Do you remember how our ancestors got that bone in the first place? Take a deep breath, then say it." Josh acted as if he was calming a child.

"The ancestral One Doggo Army had to brave the savage lands to bring it back after fighting bravely for an entire year! He was the strongest hero that ever lived! He risked his life to make us the strongest dog clan, but now our glory is all over!"

So it was a token of prestige that was extremely hard to obtain, hence had great value. While it sounded silly when seen from an outsider's perspective, it did make sense. Josh now had two options:

1. He could try and steal their ancestral bone from that other dog village.

2. He could head to the savage lands himself and try to grab a new one that was even better than the original.

Whatever he chose, it probably wouldn't be that easy. Still, his goal was to push his limits and get the best reward possible. The effectiveness of the training Tower would depend on it!

For that reason, he would try the second one and possibly resolve himself to the first one if it couldn't be done. He knew how to assess his own limits and would be careful. Of course, there was always a risk for another god to spawn, but the chances were low.

After all, he had never encountered gods two Floors in a row. If he wasn't mistaken, that god had been the one making the whole Floor more difficult than it initially was supposed to be. The monkey Floor on the opposite had been void of danger.

"Alright, bring me to the savage lands. Let's get this problem fixed as soon as possible." Josh declared with confidence.

"Y-you can't be serious! You'll die if you head in there?! There is no way that I can allow this! We still share the same blood no matter what happens!" The dog exclaimed with fervor.

Josh doubted that he had any dog blood, but it was nice to have someone worry for him, even if that someone was nothing more than a dog.

It seemed like all that trash talk from earlier had been meant to shock him. Well, according to the dog himself, "Josh" had been entrapped by a seductress. That explained the rough but solid awakening...probably.

"Don't worry. I just want to scout the savage lands a bit, for we never know. I could get extremely lucky. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try something." Josh declared valiantly.

The dog began tearing up as he seemed extremely conflicted for a moment. But he then nodded sternly. In his eyes, Josh could see a mixture of worry, sorrow, and pride. It was time to get some motherfucking bones!

Creator's Thought

I have to admit, I always loved how creative AT would get with his Floors. Well, before THAT happened. First monkeys and then dogs. Yet, he had managed to make them feel human. It was a peculiar feeling. Then again, it's not like humans are special. We are nothing but arrogant animals in the end.