Chapter 142 - She Had Been A Fool
(This chapter is dedicated to the top three golden tickets givers of the last month.
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Mo Roulan seemed to have a sense of déjà vu after she heard He Jian's words.
The same words she had heard in her past life but she had taken a different meaning out of them altogether.
'You were never a bother.'
He had actually stood by his words until she had spoilt everything…until she made him feel that she was really a bother.
'What if I had not insisted so much on getting his love?' thought Mo Roulan.
She could have lived a really well life. She could have found her brother or perhaps …she could have found him alive.
He Jian had always taken care of her very well until she made him abandon her.
Even now…he was just like her past life.
He came to help her just after a few minutes she called him.
He was very sincere towards her. But what did she do? She lost such a sincere person in her last life because of her own stupidity.
So what if he didn't love her?
Love was not necessary for breathing. She could also live without it. At least she would have a person in her life who had been with her in her most difficult times.
Wasn't this also good?
Mo Roulan still remembered the cruel life she had lived in the orphanage. For food, for clothes for anything that was necessary for living well, a person could do anything.
She was provided with everything by He Jian.
It was her foolish heart who took his care for something else. After being treated so badly by everyone, He Jian's care and gentleness became something else for her.
She knew how bad people could go in life… How badly they can hurt you and take your advantage of.
But He Jian did nothing like that. He took care of her…gave her the best he could.
So what was her reason behind hating him?
Because he didn't love her?
Mo Roulan suddenly felt as if she had been the biggest fool in her life.
And why wasn't she? She blamed He Jian for not loving her but she never thought her care towards herself when they were still in good terms.
'I was so selfish' thought Mo Roulan.
It was not He Jian's fault that he didn't love her. It was not his fault that she took his care for something else.
All along, it was she who was at fault.
To get something she couldn't she didn't cherish what she had.
.
.
.
In just a few seconds, He Jian saw so many emotions flashing in the black brown eyes.
Surprise, guilt, fear and so many other emotions that he didn't understand.
He felt confused and helpless when Mo Roulan lowered her head in a daze.
Confused as to why she was afraid and guilt and helpless as to why she was surprised.
"You will be always come first, Lanlan."
He said more firmly wanting to instill this thought in the young girl's mind.
If only she knew that he had never cared for anyone like he was caring for her. She was special for him. Everything related her was special for him.
He didn't know why neither he wanted to know it yet.
He didn't care.
All he knew was that he wished to see her happy. He wished to see her eyes shining with cheerfulness. He wished to see her living a very happy and peaceful life.
It made him feel happy and satisfied.
A 'thanks' in low voice fell in his ears and helplessness and tenderness flashed in He Jian's eyes as he looked at the lowered and fluffy head of the young girl in front of her.
In the end, she was just a young girl.
She must be afraid after today's incident and being arrested without any fault.
For a moment, hesitation flashed through his eyes but it was only for a moment because in the next one he raised his two arms and dragged the girl who was at least a head lower than him in height in his arms.
He awkwardly patted the back of Mo Roulan's head and said gently his each and every word.
"Shh…it will be alright. You are not alone now."
However, He Jian only felt more helpless when he saw Mo Roulan's shoulders shaking more rapidly. He could feel the cloth on his chest getting wet by her tears.
He tried to look at Mo Roulan's face but the hold on his other's arms tightened suddenly indicating that she doesn't wish to move away.
So he stood there silently letting her cry as much as she wished to with a cold frown on his forehead.
His frown went deeper when amidst Mo Roulan's low cries he heard her saying 'sorry' in low voice.
"Lanlan, It was not your fault."
However, the girl seemed to not hear his words and continued her one-sided talking.
Mo Roulan actually heard his words but she pretended to ignore them. She was actually saying sorry to him.
She thought how disappointed He Jian must be in her past self.
The man had done so much for her so that she could live a well life but what did she do? Not only she made her life hell, she also said to him that she hated him …when he didn't deserve any of that.
He Jian's didn't say anything. He just continued to pat Mo Roulan's back gently.
Inside his heart, He Jian was already thinking of ways to punish Shen family.
'No one could just roam freely after harming Lanlan…not until he was alive.'