Be Gentle, Immortal Master

Chapter 149 – The Last Night

I left Bai Ye by himself afterward so that he could get everything in order. There must be a lot for him to prepare, and I didn't want to take up all his time with my trivial needs. When afternoon slowly drew into evening and candlelight started flickering from his window, I finally made my way across the garden to his room.

He was reclining in bed, reading a book. The concentrated look on his face made me pause in the doorway, and I wasn't sure if I was interrupting him at a bad time. Just as I was about to pull away, he looked up. "Come," he stretched out an arm towards me.

The smile curling his lips was more tender and loving than I had ever seen, and I was dazed for a moment, forgetting to move. Candlelight sheened on his cheeks, gilding his sharp features with a gentle warmth. I suddenly wanted to just stand there forever, watching him, as if that could stop time from passing by and stop him from leaving me when the sun rises again in the morning.

"Qing-er?" he called softly, waking me up from my reverie. Smiling a bit sheepishly, I padded over and climbed into his bed, leaning against him in his arms.

"What are you reading?" I asked, though I didn't take my eyes off of his face to glimpse at the book. I wanted to look at him a little longer.

"Do you not recognize it?" he chuckled and asked instead, nodding at what he was holding.

My eyes moved reluctantly, and they went wide as soon as they refocused. He was reading … a meditation manuscript that I copied the first year I came to Mount Hua.

Copying manuscripts was a common punishment for disciples that made relatively small mistakes—a way to keep them occupied with something boring so that they could calm down and reflect on their wrongdoings. Bai Ye had always been easy on me, and this was the only time in five years that he had ever punished me. I thought that he would've thrown away the useless copy by now, and I couldn't be more surprised to see him reading it on the last night before his retreat.

"Remember why I made you copy this?" he asked.

I nodded. "I ate the berries in your herb garden."

When I first came to his hall, he probably hadn't been around a mortal for hundreds of years, and he kept forgetting that I needed to eat. Sometimes I would get three meals a day if I was lucky, but other days when he got too busy with my lessons to remember it, I ended up searching for food all over the kitchen. After realizing that the kitchen was usually empty, my search zone slowly expanded, and I still remembered the thrill when I found those delicious berries hanging on the shrubs in his rare herbs garden.

"It was really my fault that time … not yours." He ran his fingers over the pages, as if revisiting those memories through my crooked handwriting. "You were so sad to be locked up in the library to copy the manuscript … You almost cried."

I chuckled. "I didn't understand it back then. I thought you punished me because you were angry that I wasted the fruit of your rare plants." But of course I understood now that he was only worried about me poisoning myself. It was a lesson to teach me to harness my curiosity and stay away from the dangerous unknown. To keep me safe like he had always done.

"Why are you reading it now?" I asked. "Do you need this technique for your meditation tomorrow? I can find the original manuscript for you if you want. My handwriting back then was so terrible … This is barely legible."

He laughed and closed the book, placing it on the table next to him. "I'm just reading it to relax."

He must really be anxious about tomorrow to think that reading such a boring book was relaxing. I laid my hand on top of his. "There's nothing to be worried about," I said, trying a bit clumsily to comfort him. "This isn't your first breakthrough, and it won't be the last either. Just treat it with peace of mind. You are the strongest immortal I've ever seen … and I can't wait to see you come back even stronger."

There was a moment of silence. Then he flipped his palm to clasp my hand in his. "Will you miss me?" he asked softly.

I stared at him. He certainly wasn't being himself for the past two days, repeatedly asking strange and obvious questions like this, but I still tried to answer as seriously as I could. "Of course I will," I said, "but I know it's worth the wait."

He didn't look at me. His eyes lingered on our interlaced fingers, his long lashes casting a faint shadow over his face. "I made something for you," he said after a long while and reached for the table again. "If you want to see me, push your spiritual power through this. It can show you … images of me."

I tilted my head and looked at him curiously as he handed me a crystal orb the size of an infant's fist. "What kind of images?" I asked. He was always so thoughtful. Even when facing such a stressful day, he still remembered to make this for me to help brighten my mood.

"You'll know when you use it … But wait till I'm away. It's better to see the real me while you can, isn't it?"

I smiled and tucked the crystal under the pillow. "Of course." I locked my eyes back onto him. "So focus on your retreat and come back to me soon, Bai Ye. No illusions or visions can replace the real you by my side."

Candlelight caught in his dark eyes, flickering like an unsaid promise. He gathered me closer, leaning my head against his shoulder.. "You know I will," he said, "as soon as I can."